In This Life
by pikachiyo
Summary: Shirogane Ryou knew there would be side effects when he began the Mew Project, but he never imagined to what extent. Not, at least, until the symptoms began to manifest themselves in the Project’s very first human experiment… himself. [IchigoxRyou]
1. symptom

In This Life 

A Tokyo Mew Mew fanfic

by Abigail

Summary: Shirogane Ryou knew there would be side effects when he began the Mew Project, but he never imagined to what extent. Not, at least, until the symptoms began to manifest themselves in the Project's very first human experiment… himself. In the uncertainty that follows, can he and Ichigo make the most importation realization… about each other?

Author's notes: This story will probably loosely follow the anime as far as reference to past events goes, though readers of the manga shouldn't be confused. The story doesn't particularly fit into the anime timeline since it'll be changing future events, but for reference's sake, you could say it takes place between episode 36 and 37 – after Ichigo discovers Alto's identity but before Aoyama discovers Mew Ichigo's identity. Oh, and it's a working title… I may change it yet. Oo

**chapter**** one. symptom**

_soundtrack.__ 01. i hate you so much right now. kelis _

"You're late."

Ichigo froze. She'd almost – _almost_ – managed to sneak in unnoticed. But now Minto's dark chocolate eyes were glaring daggers at her. In the petite, well-bred young lady's hands was a tray of various tarts and gourmet desserts.

Purin bounced to Ichigo's side, balancing two other trays on her head and in one hand. "Ichigo-oneesan was late, so Minto-oneesan had to wait on the customers!" the lively monkey-like girl declared. Even if she wore a waitress' uniform, everyone knew the most work Minto usually did in a day was to lift a teacup to her lips.

"Aaah," the strawberry-haired girl said with realization and a hint of sarcasm. "So Minto is angry because she had to work? Maybe I should be late more often!" She'd had to call Aoyama-kun today and cancel yet another date because of her work at the café, thus Ichigo was not in a particularly good mood.

Minto's eyes flashed lightning as she shoved the tray into Ichigo's hands. "That is absolutely no excuse," she said haughtily before stalking away.

Ichigo sighed heavily, letting her head droop so low her hair almost brushed the desserts on the tray. Why, oh why, was she here waiting tables today when she should be out walking through the park with Aoyama-kun… or visiting the aquarium with Aoyama-kun… or even cleaning rivers with Aoyama-kun…she didn't really care as long as it was with Aoyama-kun. She'd waited so long for a chance for this date, and then… overtime waitress duty.

Life wasn't fair. It _really _wasn't…

"Hey. So you _are_ here, after all." Ichigo tensed as a familiar rude voice sounded behind her. Yes, that voice, the source of all her problems… "What are you doing just standing there? There are customers waiting." With those brusque words, Shirogane walked past with teacup in hand, taking a seat at a table, he leaned back and crossed his legs culturedly.

She felt her blood boil, fingers tightening around the tray's edges until she was sure it would snap. But it was her control, and not the tray that finally snapped "Why is that _I_ always end up doing all the work around here while other people sit around and do nothing!!? Why is it, huh!!?" she ranted loudly. "Shirogane, you're just as bad as Minto!! No, I take that back! You're even worse!"

"I take offense at that," Minto put in.

"Are you complaining, or just trying to make insults?" The blonde boy blinked, unfazed. "Either way, you're not accomplishing much. Wouldn't you agree, Minto?" He smirked in Ichigo's direction.

"Most definitely," the stuck up _ojousama_ agreed, sipping her tea.

Ichigo glared for several long seconds, ready to explode again. Finally she took a long, cleansing breath, and with a loud "hmph" stuck her chin in the air and ran off to work with stubborn determination, dashing from table to table and taking orders with more vigor than ever. She'd _show_ him… by working harder than ever! Then he'd have nothing to pick on her about!

Shirogane watched the girl's renewed energy with some amusement_. Well, he couldn't fault the girl for her persistence. _Though he didn't allow his emotionless outer expression to flinch, his inward smile manifested itself in a playful glint in his eyes, and the slightest of smirks when their eyes met once and Ichigo sent him her best glare. She flitted from table to table, smiling and bowing and laughing at customer's bad jokes, acting every bit the perfect waitress. She refused to favor Shirogane or Minto with even one glance. She would _not_ let them get to her, she would not! She stuck out her chin determinedly and transformed her face into her best smiling, peppy, I'm-a-happy-waitress grin. "Sooo, are you enjoying your desserts?" she oozed to the group of customers at her table. "Can I get you anything? Would you like more whipped cream on that? You look low on whipped cream. Let me go get you some more. It's just not a parfait without whipped cream."

"No, that's really not necessary..." the customer protested.

"**You're getting whipped cream!!**"

"O...okay..." the customer cringed under the suddenly very scary waitress that loomed over her with flaming eyes.

"I'll be right back," Ichigo sparkled, all smiles again. She ran off, glad she was armed with an excuse to be away from _his_ smirking eyes, however short a time it may have been. Back in temporary shelter of the kitchen, she fetched a can of whipped cream from a cupboard shelf and sighed for the hundredth time that afternoon.

"Um, Ichigo-san?" Retasu's soft mousy voice hesitated to interrupt. "You're beeping."

"Huh? Oh! My cell!" She hadn't even realized she'd put her cell phone in her pocket until the peppy ringtone finally seeped into her thoughts. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw the caller ID displayed on the screen. _Aoyama-kun…_

Stomach aflutter, she eagerly brought the phone to her ear. "Aoyama-kun?"

"Ichigo, hello!" _Aoyama-kun's voice! Ah, warm tickly feelings... _"I wasn't sure if you'd be at work or not."

"Well, um, I actually am at work…" _Yes, unfortunately I'm trapped in Shirogane's sweatshop right now. Ugh._

"Oh! I'm sorry, Ichigo! I'll call another – "

"No! It's okay, really!" _Don't hang up, please don't hang up._ "I can talk."

"Oh… okay. Well, I was just wondering if you'd like to reschedule our date. How about, say…tomorrow afternoon?"

_A date! Yes!!_ "Tomorrow sounds great!"

"You work tomorrow."

Ichigo stiffened yet again at the intrusion of an uninvited third voice.

"And since when do you take personal calls on company time?"

_Shirogane__…_ This really was the last straw. She wasn't going to let him push her around anymore! She felt her grip on the cell phone tighten.

"Ichigo…? Hello? Is something wrong?" Aoyama was left stranded on the other end of the phone.

"Aoyama-kun, yeah, tomorrow… is perfect."

"Um, are you sure it's okay? 'Cause if you have other plans or something…"

"I'm not going to work anymore!" she declared loudly. "It's just not fair at all!"

"Er… okay, well, maybe I shouldn't have called at a bad time. We'll get together another time, alright? See ya."

"No, wait, Aoyama-kun! Aoyama-kun!" Ichigo stared in shock at the dead phone in her hand, feeling absolutely like she wanted to cry. She'd been waiting so long for this date, and now it was never going to happen. It was like the whole world was plotting against her to keep her away from Aoyama-kun. She couldn't believe what had just happened. And it was all. His. Fault.

She whirled in fury at the blonde demon that had come from hell to make her life miserable. Heat flushed her face, and she felt ready to explode. Bitterness stung her eyes, but she didn't care anymore. "Shirogane, you are the absolute worst! I HATE YOU!!"

He silently watched the girl turn and run blindly in the direction of the storage rooms. Had he really just seen tears in her eyes? He hadn't exactly expected a favorable reaction, but that was a little much, wasn't it? _It's only one date. Stupid girl._ He supposed he could have let her have the day off, but that would mean he would have to pull kitchen duty, and there was important research to be finished. He found the sugar cubes he had come to the kitchen in search of, and dropped one into his tea with a sigh. He felt another headache coming on…

Ichigo squatted inside the storage room, squeezing her knees to keep her trembling fury inside. Why did he have to be so mean all the time… and only to her? Why did he hate her so much? She just wanted to be a normal girl, with a normal boyfriend, but he would never let her. Arrogant, selfish, pig-headed…

"Ichigo-san?" A floating pair of glasses framed by green grass-like hair hovered over the sulking catgirl. "Excuse me, but, um… Shirogane-san said you needed some help with something?"

"What? Retasu…? I don't need any…" Ichigo dropped her head into her knees. She sighed, not bothering to finish her sentence, and not really picking up on everything the other girl had just said. "Waaah, Retasu, why is he so meeeaan!? It's so not fair!" she wailed in a sudden outburst, flailing her arms and legs like a child with a temper tantrum.

"Um…well…" The shy girl was quite unsure how to react to this behavior.

"But what's worse is…" Ichigo fell back into quiet depression. "I think Aoyama-kun hates me."

"But why would he ever do that?"

"I'm sure he has to!" she despaired. "I'm always canceling dates and making excuses because of work and Mew Mew duties. He must think I'm trying to avoid him. He must think I... I don't even like him!" Horror crept through her paranoid teenage mind at the thought of it. "He must hate having a girlfriend like me."

"Ichigo-san, I'm sure he understands..." Retasu attempted to console the girl. For all her merits, Ichigo had a bad habit of jumping to irrational conclusions, and, as the saying went, making mountains – often rather large, irritating mountains – out of molehills. When this happened, her transparent moods could affect the entire café, so Retasu was eager to cheer her up. "Why don't we go back to work and it will take your mind off of it, okay? Please?"

The green-haired girl nearly fell over as she was attacked by a glomping pink catgirl. "Wah, Retasuuuuuu! You're so nice!!"

Retasu laughed nervously as she twirled and tottered inside the cramped storage room attached to Ichigo, until naturally, inevitably, she tripped. The two girls lurched forward together onto the flimsy shelves, after which followed the inevitable rain of cardboard boxes, plastic silverware, random nuts and bolts, and a package of flour which broke on Ichigo's head. When Purin appeared moments later to investigate a suspicious noise she had heard coming from the back rooms, she found a pair of coughing, giggling girls sprawled in the center of a white cloud of dust. And her first reaction was – elation.

"Waaaiii! It's snowing in the storage room, na no da!!"

Once the girls had explained to a disappointed Purin that a June Christmas miracle had in fact _not_ occurred in the café's storage room, they returned to the kitchen. Ichigo and Retasu both left floating clouds of flour as they attempted to brush off their powdered uniforms, and Retasu had begun to sneeze. Zakuro raised an eyebrow at the two but made no comment.

"Ah, back to work, I guess," Ichigo spoke, giving her hair a final shake. She picked up the forgotten can of whipped cream and ventured back into the dining room.

"Shirogane-san?" The underlying current of concern in Minto's voice when she repeated her address for the second time caused the other girls' heads to turn.

He was ignoring her, which wouldn't have surprised Ichigo if it was herself, but he was usually polite enough to the rest of the girls. But this time he was acting strange, bent over in his chair as if he were studying the tabletop intently. Forgetting her waitress business for a moment, Ichigo stepped forward curiously with half a notion to chew the boy out for his rudeness. That was when his arm caught her attention, and sinews that twitched and trembled ever so slightly, like they were under great strain. She followed the length of his limb to his hand, where white knuckles grasped his teacup as though desperately trying to hold something in.

Ichigo glanced around at the other girls, who all lingered about like her in a state of surprised confusion, looking to each other but finding no answers. Was he playing some kind of joke? This really wasn't funny.

The teacup shattered inside his fist, causing squeaky gasp of startlement to escape from Ichigo's throat before she could bite her lip to suppress it. Shirogane was visibly trembling now, his fist still clenched and knuckles whiter than before. He was scaring her, and for that reason Ichigo found herself hating him even more just then, if that was even possible. _What kind of tasteless joke was this? What a jerk! But yet…just maybe…he was…_

The clatter of a silver tray against the floor shattered the silence. Retasu rushed to Shirogane's side with no regard for the ice cream cakes that now melted into broken glass on the floor. "Shirogane-san, are you alright!?" Her usual timidity was lost beside sudden concern.

"I'm fine," he rasped, pushing Retasu away with a sweep of his arm. Ichigo could see the blood that smeared across the tabletop as he did, from the teacup shards that had dug into his hands. He didn't lift his head, but she could see now his face was distorted in a mask of pain. Something was terribly wrong. Panic rose inside of her. _What should they do? Akasaka-san… of course, he would know. Where was he!? _She turned to find Zakuro had been one step ahead of her, and had already fetched the tall pastry chef and elder of the café.

He took in the situation in one moment, his countenance turning to deep seriousness, and in no time he had dashed to the basement and disappeared. The girls were left hovering about Shirogane in rising confusion and fear. Despite his continued insistence that he was fine, his pain seemed to be increasing, his shaking fist pressed against his forehead, breath coming in shorter gasps now.

Suddenly Akasaka was there again, fumbling with a vial and syringe in his hand. Glancing up with gritted teeth, Shirogane reached out and snatched the needle from the other man's fingers before plunging it into the side of his neck. He pulled it out and let the syringe clatter to the floor, as everyone still held their breath. The blonde's head slumped forward into his hands, and within a few moments his breathing had gradually returned to normal, his muscles relaxing. Then he startled them all by pushing himself to his feet, taking a moment to orient himself, and brushing past Zakuro into the kitchen as though nothing had just happened, with no more than a mumbled "Excuse me". A stunned silence weighed over each waitress in the room

When he had disappeared, Akasaka, left alone to the task of damage control, held out his hands just as a fury of questions began to spew from each girl's mouth all at once. "Ladies! Ladies, please… do not worry."

"Akasaka-san! What's going on? Is Shirogane-san alright?" Retasu pleaded.

"Is Shirogane-oniisan sick, no da?" Purin hopped forward to cling to Akasaka's leg, frowning.

"Please…there is no reason to be concerned," Akasaka spoke with a voice full of sincerity, though whether she imagined it or not, Ichigo felt she sensed an extra line of worry around his words and countenance. "Ryou is… Ryou is only suffering from a temporary illness. A virus… or something like it. We are currently researching an antidote to help him recover more quickly, but it's nothing serious, I assure you. So do not be alarmed."

"It looked serious," Minto murmured to herself, but she wouldn't be one to doubt Akasaka's explanation.

"Are you sure?" Retasu wasn't ready to drop her concern just yet.

Akasaka smiled reassuringly. "Yes. Please believe me that he will be perfectly fine."

"I see…" Ichigo wondered why, if he had been sick for very long, she hadn't noticed any symptoms in him earlier. Something in Akasaka's words and the image of Shirogane doubled over in pain still troubled her. There were no obvious questions left to ask, so each girl soon wandered back to her own duties, and Akasaka bent to clean the mess of Retasu's dropped tray. Normalcy returned the café, despite a quiet anxiety that refused to disappear completely. That is, for _most_ of it's occupants.

"Purin will perform a get-well show for Shirogane-oniisan so he gets better!!" The yellow-haired monkey girl bounced around the room, excited at the anticipation of a new performance.

"Ahaha… I'm sure he would appreciate that, Purin-san," Retasu chuckled softly.

"Ichigo, table three is still waiting for their desserts," Minto raised her eyebrows at the pink-haired waitress while she reaffirmed her seat at her tea table. "Oh, and… it seems my tea has gotten cold, would you warm it up for me?"

"Arrgh, fine, Minto, but can't you do it yourself?" Ichigo growled back. Thanks to Shirogane, her mind was now in a complete muddle, as table orders, worries and confusion over Akasaka's words, and the hubbub of the café all bombarded her at once. She stood helplessly in the middle of everything clutching a can of whipped cream. "Waaaah, Zakuro… which table was I supposed to deliver this to!?"

Yes, normalcy had returned.

----------------------------

He found Shirogane in the basement lab. The boy was slumped in a chair in front of one of the flickering screens, face tilted toward the ceiling, head resting on the chair's cushioned back. His eyes were closed and he might have been asleep. Akasaka approached without a word.

"The attacks are getting stronger, Keiichirou," the blonde boy spoke, sensing the other man's presence without opening his eyes.

"We'll continue researching the antidote," the taller man assured. "We're getting nearer to finding the solution."

"I'm not so sure there is one."

Akasaka gave no response. Finally lifting his head, Shirogane focused on the screen in front of him, where a map of Tokyo traced any Chimera Anima activity that might arise. "The girls…?"

"I assured them you were fine. Ryou…"

"There was earthquake activity in Shibuya earlier today. It might just be natural, but it wouldn't hurt to check it out," the blonde spoke briskly, zooming into the map with a few keystrokes and bringing up a green ticker of data.

Akasaka couldn't help a small smile. _And you once accused _me_ of always avoiding your questions._ But he would humor his companion, as always. "Shall we send the girls?"

"No…" Shirogane mused, scanning the data once again. "As long as nothing else unusual comes up, we can let the computers monitor it from here." His fingers tickled the keyboard, inputting the data to set up the monitoring program, and then exited the windows so that the full map of Tokyo was staring back at him again. The springs in his chair gave a squeak of protest as he leaned back once again.

"You should bandage your injuries, Ryou."

Shirogane stared down at the fresh red cuts in his palm as if it were an alien thing. Today's attack had taken him by surprise. It had been much stronger, and he hadn't been able to disguise the pain and walk away to find the antidote injection like he had in the past. "Keiichirou." When the blonde spoke again after several moments, his voice had changed to a softer, serious tone. "You know I want to finish this Mew Project more than anything, don't you?"

"Yes, I know that."

Shirogane frowned thoughtfully, as his fingers slowly curled into a fist. "We might be running out of time."


	2. diagnosis

In This Life

A Tokyo Mew Mew fanfic

by Moonchild Abigail

responses:

_Ryou Shirogane:_ Thanks! RxI-ness is great and so is torturing Shirogane. o.O

_RoseRosa_ I'm glad you find it interesting.

_ariasunset_ Thanks! Don't worry, this fic is going to be shamelessly RyouxIchigo. XD

_Jana Lybarger:_ Um.. chapter two is up. But if you're reading this you've already figured that out.

_Nibzo_ Yep, its definitely a RxI story. I'm not giving away the ending yet, though.

_Fuzzy Wuzzy Bear:_ -glomps back- I have so many of my own fics that I'm juggling that I could never write requests, sorry.

_Chibi__ Fluffy Muffin:_ Thanks! I like your nickname. -eats you-

_Chibi__-Squirrel_: Okay. -marries you- -pokes- Oh wait, you've already died from suspense! T,T Ha… sorry, I'm terrible about getting new chapters out quickly. You're actually very lucky with this update compared to my other fics.

Author's Notes: I was listening to the radio at work and realized so many songs inspired me. From now on I'm going to add a "soundtrack" song to go along with each chapter. I've decided them all except for the next chapter's, so I'll welcome any suggestions. Any songs about being confused or indecisive, or being torn between two people would be great, but it doesn't need to be limited to that. If a song reminds you of RyouxIchigo, let me know.

**chapter**** two. diagnosis**

_soundtrack. 02. if you only knew. maroon 5_

_I wake up, thought of you / Tattooed to my mine, as I wonder / What to wear, what to eat, who to be / Will I see you again / And as my car breaks down / I shake my head and say / What a day_

_If you only knew, what I went through just to get to **you**._

She couldn't stop thinking about him. Even now, when she should have been listening to the teacher lecture about English participles, she was thinking about him. For some reason, she couldn't get his pain-tortured face out of her mind. And afterward, he had simply walked away without any explanation at all – the same way he had that time before, after transforming from a cat on top of her to her utter shock. Akasaka's telling of his past was still fresh in her memory. As it slowly sank into her understanding, it had helped reveal just a little bit more of the person who fate had somehow, whether she liked it or not, thrown her together with. But there was still so much more about him she didn't understand. How many more secrets did he hold?

Akasaka had said there was nothing wrong with him, that they didn't need to worry, but she had seen the uncertainty in his eyes. She wondered if the other girls had seen it too, or was she just being paranoid? Why did he always keep things to himself like that? If it was just a virus, he could have said he was feeling bad, couldn't he? Maybe he didn't want anybody to worry, but it was always like this. It was annoying. He never revealed anything unless it was in his own interest, or he had some mission he wanted them to complete.

Of course, she'd made it clear enough that she disliked him. And who could blame her? He worked her like a slave, always ordering her around with no regard for her personal time or feelings. He'd made it clear that he only cared for her as his "ultimate weapon", and on top of that, he was always teasing her and saying cruel things! But it was on the very rare occasion, just every once in a while… that he did something nice. And that annoyed her the most, because it meant… she couldn't hate him completely, no matter how much she may have wanted to.

She managed to sneak into the café just in time to start work, slipping into her uniform and joining the girls in the kitchen. The dining room began filling up fast, but not fast enough not to linger in the kitchen and sample Akasaka's new cinnamon peach crumble cake first. Shirogane was nowhere around, and Ichigo found herself glancing around even as she waited tables watching for his face without really thinking about it. She must have been obviously distracted, because she jumped when Zakuro laid a hand on her shoulder. The violet-haired model's eyes were softened with understanding. "If Akasaka is not worried, neither should you be."

Ichigo managed a small smile. Zakuro was right, she didn't need to be so worried. She was being silly, it was just a little virus. And this was Shirogane they were talking about. Since when did she even care about Shirogane, anyway? "Thanks, Zakuro-san." She took the older "oneesama's" advice to heart and went back to work with a lighter step. But it wasn't many steps before heaviness was dragging her shoes and her mind once again. What if Akasaka really was worried, but only didn't want to show it? Something uncomfortable still nagged the edge of her instincts. Ichigo resolved she would find out.

On a mission, Ichigo kept her cat-eyes on alert for an open opportunity. When it did, she pounced with a stealth that would make her feline genes proud. "Akasaka-san?" She cornered him alone in the back of the kitchen when the rest of the girls were busy with other tasks.

"What is it, Ichigo-san?" The tall man bent to retrieve a steaming cake from the oven with an aroma that would make any mouth water.

"Um, well…" In her strategic planning to confront him alone, she hadn't even considered what she was going to say. "Is… is Shirogane here today? I mean, I just haven't seen him around today and was just wondering, well… if he, um…"

Akasaka straightened and faced her, realization knitting his brow. He set the cake down on the counter and smiled gently. "He's working on research in the basement today. I wouldn't be surprised if he's already lost track of the hours. If you'd like to speak with him, I'm sure he wouldn't-"

"No, no!" Ichigo waved her hands quickly. "I didn't wanna talk to him. Actually, um, I was hoping I could talk to you…"

"Certainly." He was gathering ingredients into a bowl now to mix up the frosting.

"…about Shirogane."

Akasaka's hands slowed for a moment, but he continued preparing the frosting. "Is something the matter?"

"Akasaka-san, is he really okay? After what happened yesterday?" There. She'd finally spilled it. Everything that had been worrying her since yesterday when she didn't even know why.

"Ichigo-san…" The older man's voice remained pleasant as his hands continued to busy themselves with the work in front of them. "You shouldn't be so worried." He smiled, but his eyes would not hold hers for long. There was something he wasn't telling them, and he was doing an awful job of hiding it. She knew it. She exploded.

"How you can say not to be worried! What do you expect me to do, when no one says anything! Because you're a terrible liar, Akasaka-san!" Ichigo clapped a hand over her mouth as soon as the words had come out. She hadn't meant to be so rude to gentle Akasaka, and what if she had just accused him when he really wasn't lying?

But he was smiling softly, maybe even chuckling a bit. "Yes, I suppose you're right." He placed the spoon back in the bowl with a sigh and faced her. "I'm sorry." Ichigo suddenly wished she'd never asked. His words had just confirmed what she knew was true, but she'd never thought to hope they were not true, until now.

"I knew it!" she burst out, "Shirogane's dying, isn't he! He's got some kind of deadly disease, what is it! Cancer? AIDS? Malaria?" She paused, realizing she'd exhausted her knowledge of deadly diseases, and she wasn't even sure if malaria was actually fatal.

"Ichigo-san." He placed a firm hand on each of her shoulders. "Ryou is not dying of any disease." His words were serious, and she knew he was not lying this time. Relief fluttered down inside of her, tinged with the uncertainty of what might be worse.

"Oh… uh, sorry," she replied softly, apologizing for her earlier outburst. Akasaka looked down at the frosting mix in silent thought as if he were considering something. Finally he motioned for her to follow.

"Please sit down."

She did so stiffly. Sitting down meant bad news, didn't it? Akasaka sat at the kitchen table across from her, folding his hands on the tabletop. "You know," he began, "that Ryou has the ability to become a cat?" She nodded, suddenly confused. _What did Alto have to do with this?_ Akasaka continued speaking. "Ryou was the first human experiment of the Mew Project to receive animal DNA. It was thanks to that we were able to learn more about the injection process before any of you girls received your DNA. Even still, there were some things about the genes that we couldn't predict. As you know, the genes of endangered species have incredible instincts to preserve themselves, which is why they were ideal to use to fight against the aliens, because of the power they held. Power even to mutate and evolve in order to survive. The genes have gone beyond and exceeded all our expectations for the Mew Project."

Ichigo had heard this before, at least, what she understood of it. But she was still waiting for an answer to her question.

"Ryou's genes differ from your own, of course. A person's genes must be compatible with the animal DNA to fully utilize its power, and Ryou's body has never completely merged with the animal genes as yours has. Each time the DNA mutates, his immune system rejects the new genetic code and reacts against it. We've been able to isolate a protein to neutralize the antibodies and act as an antidote, but it only functions as a temp-" Akasaka broke off his explanation, realizing Ichigo's utterly blank look. He paused, continuing more slowly. "That is to say, each time the DNA mutates, Ryou's body no longer recognizes it and treats it like an invader, causing the attacks like you saw yesterday. We'd been able to easily manage them in the past, as the only symptoms had been occasional headaches, but recently the attacks have grown more frequent and more severe. The antidote we've developed only works as a temporary solution until the next mutation, and the next attack. We think the new increase in attacks is probably the DNA reacting to the recent rise in alien activity. We're continuing to study the DNA patterns and work on a permanent solution, so we didn't want you to be worried."

She couldn't react. She wasn't even sure she'd understood half of what Akasaka had just said, but she knew this – she was realizing more every day just how much Shirogane was sacrificing for this project. Confusing medical terms, uncertain worries, and conflicting emotions all competed for focus in her mind.

"I rather suspected there was something more than a mere virus."

Ichigo turned to realize Zakuro had been standing behind her the whole time. "Zakuro-san, but… I thought you told me not to be worried."

"That wasn't what I said," the older girl replied with a cryptic look.

"Will you forgive me for deceiving you, Ichigo-san?" Akasaka reached out to her across the table.

Of course she forgave him, but that was the furthest thing from her mind at the moment. "So will he… be okay?"

"If the attacks continue to increase in severity, they will kill him." At Ichigo's quiver of shock and startlement he quickly added. "But we hope to defeat the aliens before there is any fear of that happening, if we don't finish the antidote first. Please trust us, Ichigo-san."

She extended her hand across the table to meet his, and he covered it with his own. "I'll… do my best," she promised. It was all she could do. "Thanks, Akasaka-san." She stood, her mind still spinning, to return to work.

Zakuro watched Ichigo walk away, the girl's feet weighed down with even heavier thoughts than before. "Mutations, huh?" Zakuro spoke when only two of them remained in the room. "Well, that would explain why our powers have been growing so quickly."

Ichigo returned to work robotically, filling orders without really hearing them and somehow managing to only screw up a few. She wasn't sure it had all sunk in yet. Shirogane was… Shirogane. He was invincible, right? She knew better than that, but it had almost seemed that way. Shirogane _was_ the Mew Project. If he was gone… no, she couldn't think that way. Akasaka was being optimistic, so it had to be okay. Pausing inside the kitchen, she closed her eyes, resolving to take the older man's advice.

When she opened them again, she was face to face with Shirogane.

Her heart nearly jumped to her throat. Ichigo spun around in panic, tripping into the counter in the process. The fruit salad à la mode wobbled from her hands, and soon she was sprawled across the counter chasing rogue cherries and grapes. Without turning, she could feel his eyes on her back. With her behind still half in the air and fruit clutched in her fists, she froze, telling herself to keep cool.

"Where's Keiichirou?" His voice was almost bored, despite the spectacle she'd just played out in front of him.

"H- how would I know?" she snapped in feigned annoyance. She couldn't look at him, or she knew her face would give away everything she knew. Her hands busied themselves putting the fruit salad back together, not that she could really give it to the customer now. She became keenly aware of the silence behind her, and the fact that Shirogane had not moved. Finally risking a peek over her shoulder, she found the blonde studying her with a frown, something that made her very uncomfortable. She wondered briefly if maybe her skirt had flipped up and he was getting himself a full view. _I wouldn't be surprised, the pervert._ "What are you staring at?" she asked, letting real annoyance seep into her voice this time.

"Your ears," he deadpanned.

Ichigo grabbed at her head, finding a pair of fuzzy cat ears, to her horror. _When did those come out!_ She cursed the blush that threatened to stain her cheeks. Getting control again, she quickly made her ears and tail disappear and scooped up the ruined fruit salad. His eyes had now taken on a strange look that might be read as slight concern or even care. He turned his back, pausing at the doors to the dining room. "Honestly, you shouldn't let those come out so easily."

Her mouth faulted for a moment before she found the words to retort. "Wh- what do you expect me to do, I can't control it!"

He glanced back. "I thought you weren't coming to work today, anyway."

She stared back at him dumbly. _Crap! _She'd completely forgotten about that! And she'd even told Aoyama-kun she was going to meet him, too. She'd been so caught up thinking about Shirogane after yesterday's incident, it had completely fled her mind. Of course, there was no way she was going to tell him that. "Well… maybe I will leave after all!" she threatened, but the words held no weight, even as she said them. After what she now knew, there was no way she could let herself leave without feeling guilty. Even if it just meant doing a normal day's work at the café, she couldn't abandon him. He had sacrificed everything for this project, and for her, and she was still struggling to comprehend that. She averted her eyes as he turned to leave.

"Suit yourself," he said, and was gone.

She set the dish down on the counter to prepare a new salad. "Sorry… Aoyama-kun," she murmured.


	3. complication

In This Life

A Tokyo Mew Mew fanfic  
by abigail / pikari  
abigail - at- makenaiDOTorg

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

**chapter three. complication**

_(soundtrack. 03. harder to breathe. maroon 5 )_

_How dare you say that my behavior's unacceptable / So condescending, unnecessarily critical / I have the tendency of getting very physical / So watch your step, cause if I do you'll need a miracle / What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head / You should know better, you never listened to what I said._

_Is there anyone out there, 'cause it's getting harder and harder to **breathe.**_

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

She swung by the handrail turning the corner of the stairwell, her feet flying down the stairs. Masha jangled from her backpack zipper, grateful to be firmly attached. She weaved in and out between students deftly, hoping he hadn't left yet. Breathless, she peered into the classroom. A group of third-year girls stood in a corner chattering, lingering together in the room even after the final bell had rung. But there was no one else. With a sigh, she turned away. Suddenly in the hallway, she spotted the exact object of search walking toward her. Ichigo jumped to attention, a cheerful smile overtaking her face. "Aoyama-kun!"

His look of surprise mingled with something else was quickly replaced by a smile to match her own. "Ichigo."

She bounded up to him nervously. "Um, hey, you don't have practice today, right?"

"Nope." He held up a portfolio of papers. "Just delivering these to the office for Takano-sensei."

"Oh… right." She fell into step alongside him. _Geez__, I guess he really is a model student._ They walked together for several minutes in silence, and all the while Ichigo fretted and squirmed inside, though Aoyama seemed pretty oblivious.

"I'm sorry!" Her words finally shattered the silence.

He stopped in his tracks, obviously surprised at her sudden outburst. Ichigo started talking fast in explanation. "I'm sorry I didn't meet you or call you yesterday. I know I said I was going to get off work, and well, I could have left work, but Shirogane was… well, it's kinda hard to explain, but I was at the café yesterday and I'm so sorry I messed up our chance to have a date!"

"Oh…" He pasted a bright smile on top of his hurt and disappointment. "Don't worry about it, Ichigo! There'll be plenty of other times we can do stuff together."

"Really? You're not mad? Yay, thanks!"

They paused outside the teacher's office. "Um… do you have time to do something right now?" he inquired. "Before you go back to the café?"

She'd been working at the café nonstop, it seemed, so it only came natural that he'd assume she was working again today. Because, she was. But that didn't mean she couldn't take her time getting there. _Just a little bit of time with Aoyama-kun… that's not selfish, is it? _She cocked her head cutely without realizing she was doing it, and grinned brightly. "Yeah, that sounds great."

An afternoon with Aoyama was giggles and butterflies as always. He rambled on about efforts to save the great pandas in China, but she didn't mind, because the breeze was warm and the chocolate sundae melted on her tongue, cool and sweet and pleasant like the whole world around them. There was something safe and secure in the innocence… in the warm touch of the sun, in the dark folds of his uniform, in the crowds of people who were strangers yet all part of the same thing. If perfection existed in the world, this might be it. She found the day had lulled her to contentment, like a lazy dream… though something unwelcome still nagged the edges of the dream in her mind – a blonde head… and lonely blue eyes.

"Ichigo?" Somewhere Aoyama realized the catgirl wasn't listening. "You seem… distracted."

"Nya? Wha? Wha? No way, not at all!" Ichigo jumped back to attention, rambling like she tended to do when nervous. "Yeah, the pandas are great, I love the pandas! We need to have more pandas in Japan and on TV and stuff like… like the Tare Panda!"

"Ichigo, the Tare Panda is a cartoon character," Aoyama chuckled.

"Oh… right. But… it's still a panda!" She emphasized with a wave of her finger. Closing her mouth quickly, Ichigo decided she had better shut up before she embarrassed herself further. Aoyama-kun probably thought she was an idiot.

He laughed as he stood up. "Well, I'll walk you to the café."

They were only a few blocks from Café Mew Mew, so the walk was a short one. But upon arrival, a "closed" sign stared back at them from the door. "That's strange," Aoyama noted. "Is the café usually closed on Thursday afternoons? I thought you were working."

Ichigo felt the pace of her heart quicken. There was only one reason the café was ever closed. "Ichigo!" Masha squeaked in her ear, and she felt a familiar cold chill run up her spine. She grabbed the pink fluffball and hid it behind her back before Aoyama could notice. "Ah, they must have forgotten to change the sign on the door!" she fibbed quickly. "See, haha, it says closed but it's really open! I'll go in the back door. Okay, bye!"

"Wait, are you sure you don't want me to wait for you unless it's really closed?"

"No, no, don't worry about it! I'm sure someone's here. See ya, thanks for the sundae!" Ichigo dashed around the corner of the building, praying she hadn't been too obvious. "Masha, where is it?" she asked quickly as she released the robot.

"Three blocks from here." Suddenly she was facing Shirogane standing in the back doorway. "A Chimera Anima appeared at the Juuichi Bridge five minutes ago. The others are already on their way. Hurry!"

"Yes!" Ichigo wasted no time in acknowledging and pulling out her round gold locket. She took off across the back lawn, toward another battle, another duty to fulfill. She felt a warm light envelop her as she activated her transformation, and her feet ran swifter and faster toward the danger.

Aoyama walked away slowly from the café's entrance, feeling strangely hesitant to leave. But he did anyway, swinging his bookcase over his shoulder and heading home alone. One last glance back gave him the sight of a single blonde man disappearing into the mouth of the pink building, the towering structure looking lonely in the fading daylight.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"You idiot!"

Ichigo winced as the reproof came the moment she stepped in the door, like a slap in the face. Though it wasn't like it had been unexpected. Shirogane stormed toward her, and the other girls scattered, eager to avoid getting caught in the wake of his fury. _Thanks for the support, guys,_ Ichigo thought sardonically.

"What kind of stunt do you think you were trying to pull?" His blue eyes flashed. "You could have been killed!"

"I… I was only…" Yes, the move had been stupid. She was lucky she had only walked away with a very bruised arm from landing on the Chimera Anima's diamond-hard scales. When the creature had jumped from the bridge, she had panicked. It was either follow him or let him get away for good, and in her current state of mind she couldn't let him do that. Actually, her current state of mind was she hadn't been thinking, period. Which was why she had very nearly jumped to her death in the middle of rush-hour Tokyo traffic, to apprehend a small-fry Anima that probably hadn't been worth the effort, much less the risk.

"You were only recklessly endangering your life, not to mention the citizens on the street! What would have happened if the Chimera Anima hadn't been there to break your fall?" Ichigo felt her cheeks burning in the face of Shirogane's lecture. _I guess he really is mad_.

"We'd have strawberry pancakes, that's what." Minto felt the need to poke her head in to answer Shirogane's rhetorical question. Ichigo ignored her.

"But, we beat it, didn't we?" she offered half-heartedly.

He sighed, letting his hand hang wearily. Ichigo noticed that his shoulders slumped and he looked older than his mere fifteen years. "Just don't… ever do that again." When he looked up again, his voice held softer concern. "Are you alright?"

She bit her lip and nodded silently. The bruises still throbbed, but they would heal. She watched him walk away, before something odd clicked in her mind. _What was wrong with this picture?_ She had just saved the day, and how was it that she was one to get chewed out? "Hey!" she started after him as he disappeared into the basement. "Hey, wait a minute!" He paused at the end of the stairway as she ran to catch up. "How about a 'thank you'!" she shot at him. "Or at least a 'good job'! I practically killed myself out there, and all I get is a lecture?"

"Exactly, Ichigo. You could have killed yourself. That's hardly a good job." He turned away toward the computers.

She knew he was only worried about her, and that he didn't want her to take unnecessary risks. She knew that. She should have stopped there, but her mouth just kept moving, almost like she had no control. "So what, you wanted me to let him escape? And _that's_ a good job? At least I'm doing something – I bust my butt every day to fight these stupid monsters! I'm doing the best that I can! That's what I did today. I promised to try my hardest, and that's what I'm doing because if I don't… because otherwise you – " Her breath caught as he turned to meet her eyes, and the last two words from her lips faded in the air between them. " – …might… die."

She watched his eyes widen for a moment, as fragments of rare emotion flickered across his face. His unbroken gaze seemed to pierce straight through her, those eyes full of depth she would never understand. For a few moments that felt like hours, Ichigo told herself to look away, but found it impossible, even while she was mentally screaming at herself to do so. Finally he turned his head darkly, muttering something that sounded like "Keiichirou".

Ichigo opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. She bit her lip instead. He threw his head back toward the ceiling with a chuckle, to her amazement. "That's a stupid reason to risk your life," he said, letting his eyes fall shut, but when he opened them again, they held no laughter. Ichigo felt a pain of disappointment pierce her middle. Did that mean he didn't care? She'd honestly been concerned ever since Akasaka had told her the truth, and would he simply dismiss it like this? She really would never understand him. Yet there was something in his face that didn't match the carelessness of his voice.

He was studying her silently again. She squirmed, wondering if she should voice an excuse to leave or just turn and go. Before she had a chance to do either, he surprised her by stepping forward, snaking an arm around her waist and pulling her close. She gasped at the sudden nearness of his warmth, his hand pressed at the base of her spine. _What is he doing? Stupid heart, why are you beating like that? Just like at the dance…_ "Were you worried about me, Momomiya Ichigo?" His voice was soft and low beside her ear. This near, she could even smell his scent. Frantically she told her heart to calm down, wondering what had suddenly caused him to act this way. I mean, she had Aoyama-kun! An involuntary shiver ran through her body at the tickle of his breath on her ear. Shirogane felt her shudder in his arms and smiled to himself at the reaction he'd caused. He glanced up to see his move had been a success, as expected.

"Well, that was easy." He released a very confused Ichigo just as suddenly as he had embraced her. She stood blinking, trying to figure out what he was talking about, when she felt something grasp her tail. _Wait a minute! Tail?_ Her fingers found the cursed cat-ears on top of her head again. She whirled to discover the end of her tail in Shirogane's hands. "Don't worry, all I want is a sample," he said, producing a pair of tweezers from out of nowhere. Her mouth dropped open in speechless disbelief. _All he wanted was…a **sample**!_ Before she could voice a scream of protest he had plucked a tuft of black hair and instead she gave a yelp of pain. Ichigo snatched her stinging tail back protectively, and dashed for the stairs without a second thought. Her face was burning, and she was fuming inside. How could she have ever thought she cared about him, even the tiniest bit? He'd practically seduced her, for a _sample_? If he wanted her tail to come out, why couldn't he just scare her like a normal person?

"You jerk!" she exclaimed as she escaped up the stairs. "I can't believe I jumped off a bridge for you!"

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

He collapsed into a chair several hours later in front of the microscope. He was exhausted, and this research was going nowhere. Unconsciously he rubbed the side of his neck; he'd had to use yet another injection. Each attack seemed to leave him feeling more and more drained, and he wasn't sure how long he could keep this up. But what was more frustrating was the direction his research was going – in circles.

There was something he was overlooking. There had to be. But he didn't know what. He had trusted Father's research completely, and more than that, he had trusted his own memory of Father's notes. But could there be something they had both missed? The Project was a risk, even the professor had known and admitted that. But their research had been exhaustive. Maybe his real error had been in trusting his own ego to believe the Project was flawless. If it was only his own life at risk, the error would be forgivable, but such was not the case anymore.

He couldn't help a ghost of a smile that crept across his face thinking of the conversation from earlier, if it could be called that. Really, she could be so obvious sometimes, and he admitted he took advantage of that. He probably should have said something more, but what those words would have been he had no idea. He didn't want her pity. That was the last thing in the world he wanted. He hadn't quite figured out what it was he _did_ want from her, though, aside from the obvious saving-the-world thing.

But… he was getting distracted. The data on the screen stared back as if it were mocking him. He wasn't angry with Keiichirou. Maybe a little annoyed, but not angry. But then again, the guy never could keep a straight face when he was lying, so it was bound to come out eventually, especially when the attack from the other day made it clear that something abnormal was up. He'd only wanted to make sure of the real danger before letting the truth out. The real danger to them. He had taken on this project as his responsibility, but now he wondered just how reckless it had really been.

He returned to the computer, hoping it would give him the answers he wanted. Somehow, he doubted it would.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" A familiar chorus of apologies sounded inside the dining room of the cafe, following the crash of dishes. Today's accident wasn't the usual culprit, however.

"Ichigo! Are you being clumsy or just stupid? You're being worse than Retasu today, and that's pathetic."

Hearing Minto's sharp rebuke, a hint of hurt crossed over the mild green-haired girl's face, but she smiled despite it. "It's okay, Ichigo-san. Here, let me help you clean up."

"Leave me alone, Minto!" the catgirl whined defensively. She assumed a pretentious pose. "I've had a very hard day, so you can't pick on me."

"And you think you're the only one? Wake up and stop being so selfish, Ichigo!"

"Um... maybe we should just clean this up." Retasu hated interrupting people, but she knew all too well that Ichigo and Minto could go on like this forever.

"Retasu, you shouldn't help her, or she'll never learn to do anything by herself," Minto chided the shy girl, who was already picking up the pieces of the broken dishes.

"Oh, look who's talking, Miss I-never-do-anything!"

"I don't mind, really," Retasu interjected softly. "Since I'm used to cleaning up all the dishes I drop. I can finish this by myself, so don't worry, Ichigo-san," she smiled. She'd changed her mind – the sooner she could get the two squabbling girls away from her, the better. She loved them as best friends, but it could get pretty tiring after a while. That was also probably the reason Zakuro had disappeared to take another break.

"Uh... I guess I can go get a broom," Ichigo relented. With another apology and a deep bow to the syrup-splattered customer, she scurried off to the kitchen, almost getting plowed over by Purin's balancing ball on the way there. She ignored the customers' attempts to wave her down and slipped quickly away from the dining room.

"Ichigo-san!" Akasaka was right there to greet her. His hands flew as he prepared a tray of sugary desserts, and he was looking just a little frazzled. Thursday afternoons were usually pretty busy, but today had been crazy, and there was still another hour left to go. They both cringed as another crash sounded from the dining room, followed by a cry of "Purin is really sorry, no da!" Akasaka smiled and shook his head, but Ichigo could read his countenance, which sighed, _There__ goes another good set of dishes..._

"Would you take those to Ryou for me, please? He's been working on the computers in the back all afternoon and hasn't had a chance to eat." Akasaka nodded toward a plate, which was neatly prepared with sandwiches, a sliced apple, and a few of the cream puffs he'd baked yesterday. Ichigo stared at the plate with a little disdain, not for the food but for who it was meant for. _Take it... to Shirogane?_ The memory of her stinging tail still burned freshly in her mind. Maybe she could get out of it by helping Retasu with the cleanup. She opened her mouth to protest. "But, I need to..."

"Thanks!" Akasaka called distractedly over his shoulder as he gathered up the tray and dashed into the kitchen to deliver it to impatient customers. She stared down the plate with her best glare. When it didn't react, Ichigo sighed in resignation. Scooping up the plate, she headed for the computer room, bracing herself for the next confrontation. She shoved the door open roughly. "Hey, Shirogane!"

Silence. No response. No movement came from inside the dim little room. Ichigo stepped forward hesitantly. She could see his figure seated in the chair, a mass of blonde hair illuminated by the computer's pale glow. In a moment of panic she rushed forward, only to stop dead in her tracks at what she saw. His shoulders rose and fell with soft breathing, to her secret relief. But she couldn't believe what was in front of her. He was slumped over on the keyboard... fast asleep.

His head rested on his hand on the keyboard. His features were relaxed in sleep, although even in rest his brow seemed knit with exhaustion. Ichigo stared at the sleeping figure, as her mind had yet to process any better reaction. What should she do? If she woke him up, he was sure to get mad and say something mean. Hesitantly she brought her face down to the level of his. "Idiot," she tested softly, then gaining confidence – "Jerk. Ogre. Big, fat bully. Evil meanie!"

No reaction.

_Wow, I guess he really is asleep_. She set the plate down on the table behind them, pondering her next course of action. She should just turn and leave, but... he didn't look very comfortable in that position. Spotting a sweatshirt on a nearby chair that probably belonged to Akasaka, Ichigo folded it into a makeshift pillow, and carefully – so very painstakingly careful – lifted Shirogane's head to slide the padding between him and the hard keyboard. She was so certain he would wake up and yell at her, but he never did. He was out cold. She wondered if he'd stayed up all night working on research. Taking his own jacket from its hanger, she draped it over his shoulders as protection from the chilly room air. Satisfied, she stepped back.

Long lashes brushed his perfect cheekbones, lips slightly parted as soft, steady breath escaped them. Strands of wheat-gold hair fell haphazardly across his eyes. She really hated to admit it, but when he was sleeping, he was almost... _cute_. Frowning, she leveled her face to his again. "Probably because that's the only time you're actually _pleasant_," she muttered, resisting the urge to flick him on the nose the way he always did to her. Allowing herself to study the sleeping figure for just a few more seconds, she placed the plate of food beside the computer where he was sure to see it, then quietly escaped from the room.


	4. prescription

In This Life

A Tokyo Mew Mew fanfic  
by Abigail / pikari  
abigail - at - makenaiDOTorg

**Notes:** I added an extra scene to chapter three after publishing it, so if you read chapter three when it was first updated, you might want to go back and read the last scene. It's nothing vital to the story, really, just fluff. I also messed up the timeline a little bit. In chapter three it was Friday, but since Ichigo's at school again in this chapter, I had to move chapter three back to Thursday. –shrugs– If anyone would even notice. I keep switching the songs around, too, I know.

_-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-_

**chapter**** four. prescription**

_(soundtrack. 04. decay. Rie fu)_

_You closed your doors before I could open mine / Now I know, now I see, it was a waste of time / When I was given passion, oh, I tried to cool it down / 'Til I found out, I couldn't say the words I wanted to say / You are the sun to lighten my shadows / Save me, and never let it go / You could have said a word, but you turned away / Why do you always act such a passive way/ Now don't you ever think that I would suck up to you_

_But I still believe in **you.**_

_-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-_

Deep inside a cavernous room that to the average eyes, would hardly appear to be the basement of a normal café, several scientific instruments blinked red and green lights in the dimness, occasionally emitting a mechanical beep. A single man worked silently, bent over the glass vials in front of him.

"How is it coming?" The blonde approached his partner. He screwed off the cap of the water bottle he had just fetched from the kitchen upstairs and took a gulp of the clear liquid.

"Nearly finished." The older ponytailed man didn't look up, too absorbed in the task at hand.

Shirogane leaned on the desk, watching the other man's progress without disturbing him, and slowly letting some of the doubt seep over his face. After a few moments he spoke. "Will this really work, do you think?"

Akasaka finally raised his head to meet the boy's gaze with serious gray eyes. "I don't believe it will do any harm, at the least."

Shirogane nodded with assurance. Harm was unacceptable, as that was the last thing he wanted to do with this project. Anymore, he wasn't sure he wanted to trust his own experiments, but he was fairly confident with this one. Thoughtfully, he raised the bottle to his lips once again. Yes... this experiment had to work if he was ever going to forgive himself.

"We're going to continue." Akasaka's words were half a question, half a statement of fact, as he already knew the answer. They both knew the consequences to Earth if they didn't. But he would follow the young genius in whatever decision he made.

"Of course." This had been his dream for his entire life as he knew it. This latest complication was only one obstacle, as the end grew nearer to fulfillment. They had to go on – for the girls, for Earth...

_For Mom and Dad..._

Pushing away from the desk, Shirogane strode briskly toward the door again. "We'll have it ready for the girls when they arrive."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Nyaaargh!"

A frustrated half-growl, half-howl echoed inside the empty classroom where Ichigo stood, rag in hand. She couldn't believe she'd gotten detention for sleeping in class. Really, it couldn't be completely called her fault. After all, the Chimera Anima had been starting to appear practically ever other day now, and that was exhausting enough. Plus she was working at the café as always, trying to keep up with homework, and worrying about… _other_ things. Frowning, she adjusted the wrappings on her left hand. And the latter was the main thing that had kept her up last night, resulting in her mid-afternoon nap in class today. The teacher hadn't exactly bought her desperate excuse that she was an agent of justice fighting to protect the Earth and thus couldn't very well be expected to keep up with homework _and_ stay awake in class at the same time. In fact, she had a suspicion her story had probably contributed to more than helped her current situation.

Sighing, she returned to her task of cleaning the desks, when she heard a giggle coming from the doorway. "Ichigo, you really make a pathetic figure like that." The newcomer shook her curly blonde head as she grinned teasingly at her friend's misfortune.

"Miwa! Come help me, please!"

The other girl wagged a finger. "Sorry, can't. 'Gainst the rules. Anyway, if I did I'd miss out on watching kendo practice. Your boyfriend cuts a pretty handsome figure out there, you know?"

"Miwaaaa!" The blonde ducked behind the wall as the rag came flying at her. It was enough that she was stuck in detention, Ichigo didn't need to be reminded that she was missing out on Aoyama-kun's practice.

"Chill, chill, Ichigo! Actually, there's a cute junior on the team I've got my eye on." She grinned sheepishly. Miwa retrieved the rag that had fallen at her feet and walked across the room to place it in Ichigo's hands. "Wanna do some shopping after you get out? Moe said something about checking out the video game sales downtown."

"Nah, I've got work."

"Ah… sucks to be you, huh? But I guess you get lots of extra money from it."

"Yeah, true." _Although there's no point if you have no time to spend it._

"Well, I'll call you, alright?" Miwa waved as she headed for the door. "Bye-bye!"

"Bye-bye…"

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

By the time Ichigo finally arrived at the café that afternoon it was nearly four-thirty. She'd already phoned Retasu earlier to let her know she was going to be late, so hopefully she would be spared the lecture once she walked in the door. After a full day of school and detention on top of that, working the rest of the day as a waitress would not exactly be her first choice of activity. Or at least, so her mind told her to think. The truth was, with the exception of impatient customers and pushy bosses, she rather enjoyed talking to Retasu and laughing at Purin's antics every day. Even Minto could be bearable most of the time. They'd almost come to be a little surrogate family, privy to the same secret they all shared, the same urgent mission. They had come together to find a way to save the Earth, and had found something more – friendship.

Ichigo skipped up the back stairs lightly. Retasu was always a good listener, and Ichigo needed someone to rant to about the trials and misfortunes of being a teenager with detention who never got to see her boyfriend. Then if Shirogane wasn't being too much of a slave-driver, maybe she'd be able to sneak a tart or two from the daily specials display. She left her schoolbag in a heap beside the door and headed for the back room to retrieve her café uniform from the closet, changing quickly.

She froze the minute she walked into the kitchen. Shirogane was bent over Zakuro, appearing to be very interested in her stomach, and Zakuro was holding up her shirt, exposing her bellybutton and midriff to him. Ichigo felt a blush rising to her face. _What exactly had she just walked in on?_ "Um, eh, sorry…" she sputtered quickly, turning on her heels to run away.

"Ichigo." She froze again. Shirogane's voice held that commanding tone. She turned back around found that Zakuro had let her shirt fall to her waist again. The violet-haired girl gathered up her uniform and walked away to the changing room without a word. Meanwhile Shirogane seemed to be putting away a scary scientific-looking gun-like thing into a box that contained five vials. All but one were empty.

"Um…?" Ichigo couldn't stand the silence, as she was currently very confused as to what was going on. And she really didn't like the look of that thing in Shirogane's hand.

"Must you be late for _everything_?" When Shirogane finally spoke again, it was like a verbal slap to the face. Count on him to ruin what slim chance she had of enjoying what remained of her day. She stomped her foot childishly.

"It wasn't my fault today! I have an excuse, I had – "

"Yes, yes, Retasu told us. Anyway, good timing. You're next."

"Next for what?"

He didn't answer, but raised an eyebrow at her left hand wrapped in bright pink bandage (torn strips of a scarf, actually, but it was the only thing she'd been able to find). "New fashion?"

She clutched the hand to her chest, hiding it with her other. "I slammed it in a door…"

"Isn't that kind of stupid?"

Keiichiro's smiling face poked into the room at just the right moment. "Ah, Ichigo-san, glad to see you made it."

"Someone wanna tell me what's going on?" Ichigo was still warily eyeing the mechanical object in Shirogane's hand. His fingers were currently switching the vial in the back end of it and inserting the remaining full one. The thought of being "next" wasn't exactly resting comfortably in her mind.

"Shirogane-san and Akasaka-san have given us each an injection to supplement the Red Data Animal DNA," Minto explained matter-of-factly. She'd come over to the group planning to observe what promised to be an interesting scene.

"What? Hey… didn't you mess us up enough the first time you did that?" Ichigo protested immediately. She refused to acknowledge the glare the blonde shot her at the words.

"It's for your own safety, Ichigo-san," Akasaka assured.

"And if you had showed up on time, you would have heard the complete explanation," Shirogane finished.

It was Ichigo's turn to glare now. "I told you I had an excuse. I had detention!"

He merely rolled his eyes. "Detention isn't an excuse. If you would actually pay attention in class, you wouldn't have that problem."

"Well, _excuse me_ if we can't all be perfect geniuses! And… and who says you can shoot that thing in my stomach! Retasu, you didn't let him do that to you, did you?" She gazed pleadingly toward the green-haired girl, who was nearby cleaning spilled chocolate syrup from the counter. Retasu only nodded, face flushing slightly pink.

"It doesn't go in _your _stomach," the blonde sighed. "It goes in the location of your mark."

"Oh…" Ichigo sighed with relief, until it sunk into her slightly slow brain exactly where her mark was located. When it did, she grabbed her skirt, holding the hem protectively at knee level. "Wait a sec… NO WAY are you doing anything THERE!"

He groaned to himself, bringing a hand up to rub one temple. He hadn't expected this to be easy, but that still didn't help the situation. Why, oh why, did she have to be so stubborn? "Ichigo…" he managed through grit teeth, the only thing keeping his temper in check, "Stop being so childish. This is important."

"I am not being childish! You expect me to just go along with this, and let you do whatever you want to me…"

"You know, the other girls were sensible enough to go along with it…"

"… when you don't even ask my permission first!"

"Oh, fine… Ichigo would you PLEASE sit down and calm down."

"You didn't say it nicely – "

"Ichigo, _sit_." The deadly tone of his voice reflected in glinting eyes. Ichigo plopped obediently into the chair, but every other part of her face and posture remained defiant, as she glared up with those fiercely independent eyes.

He had once found a stray cat outside his door. The thing had been ratty, miserable, and in need of medical attention. He'd taken it to a veterinarian to have it checked out and given the necessary distemper shots, and he'd been the one to hold it still while the doctor delivered the shot. The animal had been stubborn as heck and put up an incredible fight given its condition, and he'd ended up with stinging rows of scratches all the way up his arms. Throughout the whole ordeal, it had stared back at him with those exact same eyes.

His eyes dropped to her lower half, which she was still covering determinedly with the skirt, knees pressed tightly together. He groaned again. She really was not making this easy. "Ichigo…" he sighed wearily. "…open your legs…"

The explosion came just as he'd expected. "Don't say it like that, _you pervert_!" she shrieked, face brightening to red.

"Well, if you would cooperate, I wouldn't have to say it!" he shouted back, matching her tone as his last thread of patience snapped.

"Well, I'm not going to cooperate if you say perverted things like that!"

"Ichigo, it's just a simple injection, so would you quit treating it like a freakin' appendectomy, for god's sake!"

"First, I hate needles; second, you're _not _touching… THERE… and third, I'm not going to let you boss me around just because you know bigger words than me!" She ticked off the numbers on her fingers, leaning in to emphasize her words.

"There is a _reason_ for this you know! Are you just stupid, or would you LIKE to be a cat for the rest of your life?"

"Maybe I would! Because then I'd be able to run faster away from YOU!"

Distracted by her argument, Ichigo screeched when suddenly her knees were shoved apart roughly, her skirt pushed up, and the injection gun pressed against the red mark on her thigh. She jumped at the sharp sting as the instrument pierced her skin. Just as quickly, her right hand shot up in reaction, slapping hard against the cheek in front of her.

Shirogane's head snapped to one side at the force of her blow, and stayed that way for several seconds. His eyes were closed, his jaw tenser than Ichigo had ever seen it. She curled her fingers back, realizing her error. She managed to stammer, "I – I'm sor…"

She was cut off when he yanked her skirt back over her knees and stood up in deadly silence. Ichigo chewed the inside of her lip as he dropped the injection gun back into its casing with a clatter that seemed jarringly loud in the tension. Even from her view of his back, Ichigo could see that every muscle in his body was taut. _He's seriously angry with me…_ She jumped as two white cotton balls landed in her lap.

"Use alcohol or it'll get infected," he recited in a voice void of emotion. With that, he snapped the case closed and stalked from the room. The sharp noise of the slamming door pierced more than just her hearing, leaving a tangible pain deep in her stomach. She pressed her hands into her lap and stared at the floor, not moving to look up even after he was long gone. The pain from the injection was gone, but her hand still stung from its contact with Shirogane's face. Now, she could feel the heat flaming on her own cheeks.

"Way to go, Ichigo." Minto's sarcastic voice was the first to speak up.

"Shirogane-oniisan was really scary, no da!" Purin interjected. By now their argument had attracted every employee in the café. "He looked suuuuper mad, no da!"

"You were being unreasonable, Ichigo," Zakuro stated simply.

Ichigo let her head droop lower, wishing she could sink into the floor and disappear. A scolding from Zakuro always meant the worst. And, Ichigo knew it was true. She really didn't try to be so difficult, it just happened whenever she was around him. There was something that stirred deep inside her – something that irritated her. _It wouldn't hurt if he was a little nicer, too_. But this time she'd crossed the line, and now she regretted it. She'd never seen him that angry, and she wondered now what he was thinking. Would he kick her out of the Project? Probably not – she was too important. But she was sure he would have a long time ago if that was not the case. _And can you really blame him now?_

Stupid mark. Why did it have to be _there_, anyway? She felt her face growing even hotter at the thought of it.

A call from some of the customers left alone in the dining room interrupted the scene, and all the girls but Ichigo drifted back to work. Somehow she found herself grounded to the chair, unable to find the energy to stand up. Finally she felt a hand fall on her shoulder. Akasaka's eyes were understanding as he offered his hand out to her. She took it and he pulled her to her feet, and the small squeeze he gave her hand was quietly assuring.

She followed the others back to work, plunging her hands into the sink brimming with soapy water. But she hadn't placed more than four plates in the dish rack to dry before she knew she couldn't do this. She snatched a nearby towel, quickly drying her hands, and turned to Akasaka for a moment. "I'll be back," she quickly explained, and dashed for the stairway. The older man only smiled in approval as he watched the red-head disappear.

Ichigo rushed up the stairs, wiping the remaining moisture from her hands on the front of her waitress uniform. She slowed as the first doorway came into view, a faint glow from the dying sun seeping past the door, which was halfway open. Her steps became hesitant now. There had been more than one occasion that she'd walked in on him half-clothed, and she hoped she wouldn't be repeating that kind of scene again. Silently she peered into the barren room. He was standing beside the window, his back turned to her… with all his clothes. Ichigo sighed with relief. He seemed to be gazing out the window in thought, his forehead resting on the glass pane. She could see, however, through the reflection on the glass, that his eyes were closed.

"Um…"

Eyelids unveiled clear blue eyes that locked with hers in the window's reflection. Ichigo felt her heart jump a little. _He's still angry… _After a moment they turned away.

"…I'm sorry."

The two teenagers turned to stare at each other after the same words came out of both their mouths. Ichigo looked down quickly.

"I – I mean!… I'm sorry for being so difficult earlier, and… and for, uh, slapping you…"

He brought his hand up to his left cheek, which was still slightly red from her handprint. "That's okay. You hit like a girl, anyway."

She bristled. "What do you think I am?"

"Anyway," he crossed his arms a little uncomfortably, "It's my fault that this was necessary in the first place, so…" He trailed off, leaving the unsaid apology hanging between them.

She tugged at a loose thread on her apron, twisting it around her finger, and forced out a laugh. "Yeah, I guess we both got kind of carried away today."

He cocked an eyebrow in her direction. "What are you talking about? You were the one being unreasonable."

"Cut me a little slack, will you!" she burst out. That familiar irritation was starting to surface again.

"I'm only saying the truth."

"You don't have to rub it in! It's already obvious, anyway."

"What's obvious?"

"That you hate me." She looked away with a haughty air, but felt something strange tighten inside her at the same time. She was certain his silence meant she was right. Why she even cared, she couldn't quite say.

After a few second's pause, he mumbled his reply. "Don't be stupid…"

_If she only knew._

The thread on her apron unraveled more, suddenly commanding her full attention, as her hand twisted and fidgeted. He moved two steps away toward a water bottle that stood on the desk. "I… have to show you something," Ichigo finally spoke. He watched with a strange look as her fingers moved to the pink makeshift bandage around her hand. Confused, he stepped toward her again as the pink fabric slowly wound off her fingers.

At first there seemed nothing wrong, until he looked closer. He grasped the hand, holding it higher for inspection. The eyes that snapped upwards to meet hers were wide with concern. "When did this happen?"

"After yesterday's fight."

"And you're just now telling me!"

She pulled her hand back, embarrassed. "I thought it would go away. And I didn't want you yelling at me."

"Why would I yell at you? You should have told me about this!"

"See? You're yelling!"

He sighed. "Alright… Was it just this hand? Did anything else on your body change?"

"Of course not!" she blustered, not exactly comfortable with Shirogane inquiring about things on her body.

He reclaimed her hand, despite her attempts to hide it again, and pinched a finger between two of his to examine it. The hand looked perfectly normal. However, her fingernails, instead of being wide and flat, had become enamel cylinders embedded in the skin that extended and curved outward to deadly points. _Cat claws_. A quick glance at her right hand showed those fingernails were normal. "It was probably adrenaline from the battle," he mused, quickly working to form a theory for the odd phenomena that had sprouted on her fingers. "Was this the arm you hurt?"

Ichigo realized with a little surprise that he was right. It was the same arm she'd bruised badly in her fall, but she'd never made any connection between the two. She nodded.

"The injury might have interfered with your body's ability to change back, since it was too busy trying to heal your arm. But the injection you just got should help. See, it's already starting to disappear."

She watched in amazement as the claws slowly retracted and flattened, leaving her with normal fingernails once more. Just as he'd said. Sometimes, he never ceased to amaze her. And it was a welcome relief to have a normal hand again that she wouldn't have to hide. She took her hand back, curling the fingers into her chest. "Thanks."

"Don't hide things anymore," he ordered.

She turned her chin up with an accusing gaze. "I should say that to you, too." They both knew what she was talking about. She was still shocked to have learned the extent of the side effects the cat DNA gave him.

She watched his eyes narrow. "That," he leveled, "is not something you're supposed to worry about."

She gave a small sigh, glancing down at her fingers and half-expecting to see the cat claws again. "I guess I'm just a freak," she murmured, more to herself than anyone.

"… I said I was sorry."

"I didn't mean…"

A sudden shrill noise from the computer behind them saved the two from another awkward pause. It took a moment for the alarm to fully register in Shirogane's mind and pull him away from the girl in front of him. He bent over the flashing computer screen in disbelief. "Again! Chimera Anima!" _Did it never end?_ It seemed like the creatures were showing up nearly everyday anymore. He felt Ichigo leaning over his shoulder as he brought the details and location up on the screen. He turned somewhat hesitantly to the catgirl beside him, hating to ask more of her after what he'd already put her through this week. But she stepped backwards eagerly, raising one arm in a cheesy salute.

"I'm right on it!" With that, she disappeared, but not before flashing a silly grin that almost – just almost… made him want to smile, too.


	5. breakdown

In This Life

A Tokyo Mew Mew fanfic  
by Abigail / pikari

**chapter five. breakdown**

_(soundtrack. 05. are you sure?. bonnie pink)_

_I'm with you / But sometimes your heart is not with me / I'm with you / But sometimes I can't see / I'm with you all day long / But you're thinking about __somebody whom I don't care / I hear you / You sound like you don't want to share / I hear you / Looking for a chance to run / Too scared to ask you / __Love you much too much / Too weak to say that I don't need you no more / "Are you sure you're with the one you love?"_

_I'm with you. Are you **with me?**_

**-**

"I… I don't understand."

Ichigo felt her world spinning slowly out of control, like a slow-motion dream where she could only watch, frozen, as everything crumbled around her, and she could only scream silently as everything fell to pieces. One of those surreal dreams that _had_ to be just that… a dream. _This was a dream._

"You… don't like me?" Another piece crumbled away, feeling like it carried part of her heart with it.

"No, Ichigo, that's not it! Please don't think that. I only said I think we should spend some time apart. You're always so busy with the café, on top of school, and I know it's stressful. I don't want to put any more pressure on you. I think it's better for both of us… if we don't see each other… at least for a little while."

"…Why?" Ichigo's mind grasped for a reason, a way to fix this. _Had she done something wrong? Had she forgotten to call him? Was it the way she looked? Was she not cute enough anymore? He didn't want to be with her anymore? What had changed?_ Her mind rushed in panicked circles, but she couldn't think beyond the pounding questions. Why _wouldn't_ Aoyama want to be with her? It seemed silly, ridiculous… _right_? I mean… she'd never even stopped to seriously question it.

Aoyama looked apologetic. "Please don't misunderstand. I like you, Ichigo, but…" he looked away, "Lately I feel like I'm… distracting you." When he faced her again his expression was positive, though his usual bright smile seemed to falter a bit. "I don't want you to feel like you have to go out of your way for me! So, I think we should separate for a while."

She stared back, feeling a robotic smile creep across her face. Somewhere behind the mask, she felt a flood ready to break through. But she wouldn't lose herself in front of him. She couldn't. _If this was what he wanted…_ "O-of course, I understand… Aoyama-kun" She understood – he didn't want to be with her.

He seemed relieved. "Thank you, Ichigo."

She tried to keep smiling, but her control was starting to crack. Everything seemed so surreal, like she might wake up any moment. The world around her blurred as a foreign hot warmth stung the corners of her eyes. Her hands had become fists knotted in her lap, as if the tighter she squeezed them, the more chance she might have of holding back the wave that threatened to explode inside of her. Ichigo swayed slightly as she stood up.

"Sorry, I… n - need to…" She found she couldn't even force out a decent excuse as she fumbled for her bag. She knew her act was failing miserably as Aoyama moved to stand, concern in his face.

"Ichigo, wait…"

She nearly tripped over the chair leg as she turned but kept running – blindly running as fast as she could away. Away from him. She didn't care now that the tears streaked her face, even when pedestrians gave her strange looks. She just needed to get as far away from this terrible nightmare as she could. Her bag swung wildly behind her as each slap of her shoe against the concrete seemed to drive the reality deeper, piercing her heart, but she kept running, as if somehow she might escape.

Aoyama sank back into his chair, letting his head fall into one hand. He'd screwed it up. He'd done everything the wrong way, and now he felt terrible. What was he supposed to say? He had an idea that no matter what he might have said or done, she would only misunderstand. He'd never wanted to hurt her, but how could he make her see?

Every day, the excuses, the cover-ups – the secrets she thought she was hiding. The bright face she put on whenever she saw him – that face he loved so much – but he knew there was something more beneath the sweet giddiness. Something she didn't want him to know. She probably didn't even know it herself. He never doubted her sincerity from the start, and months ago he could have never foreseen this situation. Everything had been perfect. But now, day after day, he saw it in her eyes – the distance, the distraction. He'd been at the café, and he'd seen. He couldn't shake the feeling anymore that he was only a third wheel holding her down. And he didn't want to do that to her. Maybe he was wrong about everything, and that made him terrible person now. But he needed to let her go, for her own sake. And because she needed someone to protect her. Protect her from something he didn't even understand himself.

_I like you, Ichigo, but I can't be with you… if you're in love with someone else._

_Even if you don't realize it yet._

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

She wasn't sure how long she wandered the streets. After a while the scenery simply blended together and her feet carried her without thinking. The tears came and went – just when she thought she had poured them all out, they would start up again. People sent her strange looks as she passed, but she took no notice. Masha popped up from her backpack and flitted about, apparently confused at the state his mistress was in. "Ichigo… sad? Ichigo… sad?"

"Yeah, I guess so, Masha." She captured the fuzzy robot in her arms, needing something to hug. Masha purred softly, not minding that he was also being used as a Kleenex. Another unwanted tear slipped down her cheek, and she quickly swiped it away, letting a heavy sigh escape her lips. "I just don't know what to do. He didn't really say he wanted to break up, right? Am I freaking out? But what if he really does want to break up and he's just being too nice to say it!"

"Cheer up! Cheer up!" Masha bounced in the air in front of her.

"Easy for you to say…" she sighed bitterly. Her lower lip was beginning to tremble again, and Ichigo knew another wave of tears was coming. She sank to the sidewalk in a curled-up ball and let the sobs take over her body. After several minutes when they had begun to subside she lifted her head again, wiping her face with her sleeves.

"Ichigo, time to go!" Masha did a backflip in the air and then attached himself to her backpack again.

"What?" Ichigo blinked in confusion. _Go where?_ Then with a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach, she realized she was only blocks from the café. "Masha, no, I can't…" The café was the last place in the world she wanted to be right now. Not today. She buried her head in her knees again and tried to get closer to the place she wanted to be – a hole somewhere in the earth. It wasn't long before low distant voices made her look up. A couple of middle-aged mothers carrying small children were eyeing her with concern. Ichigo finally realized how strange she probably looked and that, as much as she might have wanted to, she couldn't sit here forever. She pulled herself heavily to her feet. She could go home, but her mother would be there waiting for her, and she would have to explain everything, and Ichigo wasn't sure she was ready to do that in her current state of mind. Glancing up at the clock on the street, she saw that it was about fifteen minutes until the café would open for the afternoon. Perhaps if she could sneak into the café and clean up her face right away, she would be alright and nobody would notice.

She slipped through the back door and closed it softly behind her. She could hear voices coming from the kitchen; some of the girls were here already. Ichigo rubbed at her eyes again. She probably looked like a horrible mess. She hurried off to the back room to retrieve her café uniform. It was just a few steps down the hallway, and once she'd got it, she could make a break for the bathroom and disappear until she'd made herself halfway presentable.

Her hopes of going unnoticed exploded right there when the last person on earth she wanted to face rounded the corner. Ichigo felt her heart jump as she quickly spun in a 180-degree turn and strode in the opposite direction. Never mind the uniform, she'd go straight for the bathroom. Too late. He'd already seen her face. She could hear his steps falling behind her even as she quickened her own pace. "Ichigo!" Shirogane's voice was curious and concerned. Panicked, she broke into a run – anything to get away as fast as she could. He followed. It wasn't many steps before he had captured her wrist in his hand and whirled her around to face him. She struggled, trying to turn away again, as she felt those stupid tears rising to her eyes again. He grabbed her chin, turning her face up towards his. There was no hiding her red, puffy eyes or tear-streaked face now. "What's wrong!" he demanded, surprise and concern reflecting in his wide blue eyes.

"N-nothing," she sputtered, jerking away. The expression he shot her read _You__ expect me to believe that?_ She poked at the edge of her eye with one finger before another tear could escape and turned her back to him. "It's not… any of your business." He wouldn't care anything about her love life to begin with, so she would simply spare herself the humiliation of telling him. Shirogane didn't reply, and neither did he walk away. In the silence that lingered it became clear that she wasn't going to explain anything more.

Finally he turned away. "Go home."

"What…?"

Shirogane crossed his arms with a frown. "You can't wait tables looking like that. You'll scare the customers away. Go home, I'm giving you the day off. Get some sleep or something."

"O-okay." She didn't feel the strength to argue anything, and was more than willing to accept his offer. Ichigo sniffled, and walked back toward the door feeling strangely relieved without having the burden of trying to work through the rest of the day without breaking down completely. The four other girls poked their heads into the hallway as she passed.

"Ichigo-san, what happened?"

"What's wrong, na no da!"

"You look horrible." Minto was blunt as ever.

"You guuuuuys! It's so awful…!" Ichigo wailed. She double-glomped Retasu and Minto together as she poured out her soul…

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It was many hours later, after Ichigo was long gone (she'd left for home not long after they'd opened), and after he had finished helping Retasu stay after closing to clean up the pile of charred cakes and broken glassware that was the result of Purin's new firebreathing-double-backflip-on-a-balancing-ball trick, that Shirogane finally sank into the chair in front of the computer in his room. He needed to check up on the status of the aliens in Tokyo tonight, and more than that, he needed to get his mind off of certain catgirls and their crazy incomprehensible emotions. His eyes scanned over the data that the system brought up, and it wasn't long before his mind had lapsed into business mode, completely absorbed in the task in front of him. There didn't seem to be anything to worry about tonight, but one could never be too careful. He was distracted and mildly surprised when the computer gave a small bell sound effect. He glanced toward the corner of the screen where a message had popped up.

_+StrawBerryNeKo+ has signed in._

He'd never really taken an interest in the whole internet chat craze – the thought of talking with some random stranger on the other side of the world for the fun of it just didn't appeal to him, and he had no friends he couldn't speak with face to face or call on the telephone if he needed to. That was why normally he would close the program once he'd finished checking his email, but earlier today he must have forgotten to log out. He stared at the screen for several seconds, considering, before he clicked the name. His fingers hesitated over the keyboard, then started typing.

_Feeling better yet?_ No, that was lame. His index finger quickly moved toward the backspace key. _If you're still crying over something so stupid, you're dumber than I thought._ Nah… she'd really kill him. Even with a safe cushion of half a mile between them. Besides, even if he did tend to be a little cruel once in a while, he wasn't that cruel. Finally he typed up another message. Best to be safe and stick with work. Not that she wouldn't kill him anyway. Not letting himself stop to think about it any longer, he hit 'enter'.

Ichigo jumped slightly at the sound of an instant message popping up. Her heart beat wildly with hope for a moment – maybe it was Aoyama-kun wanting to talk to her? Her reaction soon changed as she blinked at the message on the screen in front of her.

_PlatinumRyo__ says: You know, just because I let you off today doesn't mean you can take the whole week off. I expect to see you tomorrow._

Ichigo could feel the tears beginning to burn the edges of her eyes. After all she'd been through already today! Surely, the girls had told him everything that had happened, and he was still going to be such a jerk like this? She felt herself almost trembling with emotion as she pounded at the keyboard in front of her.

_+StrawBerryNeKo+ says: Who says you can talk to me here?.?.?_

_PlatinumRyo__ says: Who says I can't?_

_+StrawBerryNeKo+ says: I can block you!.!.! >:(_

_PlatinumRyo__ says: And I can just as easily hack your password, neko girl._

He sat back and waited for a response. Maybe he'd won this time's little battle of words, but he knew her silence on the other end was something much deeperWhere was the next sarcastic comeback? Ichigo didn't give up this easily… at least, not the normal Ichigo. He wished he could see more than the just the silent blinking cursor in front of him. If only their little chat program could read _thoughts_. He made a mental note to invent one of those after all this was over. The silence grew longer, and still no messages popped up as he continued working on the data in front of him. After a minute or so, he brought up the chat window once more.

_PlatinumRyo__ says: So, __8AM__ tomorrow?_

It wasn't long before his answer came.

_+StrawBerryNeKo+ says: How can you not even care about other people's feelings, YOU JERK!_

Ah, as expected. Well, he figured one good point about this chatting thing could be that capslock wasn't nearly as painful on his eardrums as the real Ichigo. But he was satisfied to get a real reaction again, even if she still just didn't understand, as always.

_PlatinumRyo__ says: If you don't show up tomorrow, how am I supposed to know you're alright?_

Ichigo found herself staring at the screen in surprise once again. What… was _that_ supposed to mean? Shirogane never cared about her personal life. Whenever she got into one of her moods he would always just ignore her or tell her to snap out of it or something like that. And if, just if, she ever wanted to tell him anything, to share her problems and feelings and silly emotions… he'd laugh at her for sure. Why would today be anything different? Had she really been so messed up this afternoon that he was that worried about her?

_+StrawBerryNeKo+ says: ……o.O?_

_PlatinumRyo__ says: It was a simple question._

_+StrawBerryNeKo+ says: Fine, I'll be there._

_PlatinumRyo__ says: I'm not saying you have to, okay? But I don't think sitting around the house all day is going to do you any good._

Ichigo felt the tears creeping to her eyes again – helpless tears this time, as she was reminded once again that she was alone. Aoyama-kun didn't want to see her anymore. But she knew Shirogane was right. Sitting at home alone all day would be miserable. At least at the café, she would have something to distract herself, and friends to comfort her. She wrapped her arms around her middle, trying to push away that empty churning feeling inside. It hurt so much. She was probably just being stupid, right? After all, he hadn't said 'forever'. It was just 'a little while'. But she'd seen something else in his eyes. Or was it just her paranoia? Had he met someone else? It was just a short little break-up, but it felt like the end of the world.

_PlatinumRyo__ says: Ichigo?_

Shirogane was still there. Why? Why hadn't he logged off and gone to bed yet? She rubbed her wet eyes and used her pajama sleeve to wipe her runny nose, not caring about the mess it made (She'd already depleted her box of Kleenex.) Well, that was okay. If they were in the same room, she'd be embarrassed and irritated to have him there looking like she did, but like this… well, it was weird but she didn't mind him as much this way. And it almost seemed like he was genuinely worried.

_+StrawBerryNeKo+ says: I'm ok._

_PlatinumRyo__ says: Good._

_PlatinumRyo__ says: Because there's a pile of dirty dishes waiting for you in the morning._

_+StrawBerryNeKo+ says: whatthhkjnvaiefjaoeifn!.!.!.!_

Shirogane found himself suddenly pitying the girl's poor keyboard.

_PlatinumRyo__ says: I'm joking, Ichigo. _

_+StrawBerryNeKo+ says: I'm not laughing._

_PlatinumRyo__ says: I'll bet you are. I bet you're smiling like this:. :D_

_+StrawBerryNeKo+ says: AAAAAAHHH! Don't type smiley faces, it's creepy!_

_PlatinumRyo__ says: Don't people normally type smiley faces when they chat?_

_+StrawBerryNeKo+ says: Yes, but it's creepy when you do it!_

_PlatinumRyo__ says:. :D :D :D_

_+StrawBerryNeKo+ says: AAAHH!.!.!.! You're doing that on purpose! Stop it! You're being wierd tonight._

_PlatinumRyo__ says: Why's that?_

_Why?_ Ichigo pulled her knees tightly to her chest. _Because you're making me smile, too._He wasn't supposed to be doing that. Only one person was supposed to do that. She wasn't supposed to be smiling tonight…

_PlatinumRyo__ says: And it's spelled "weird", baka._

_+StrawBerryNeKo+ says: I'm blocking you now! _

_PlatinumRyo__ says: Don't bother. I'm going to bed._

_+StrawBerryNeKo+ says: Oh. well…goodnight._

_PlatinumRyo__ says: Goodnight, Ichigo._

He logged off and leaned back, silent inside the dark room. The sun had already set below his window and the only light came from the flickering synthetic glow of the computer screen. She'd seemed lively enough tonight, but behind the safe mask of the computer screen, was she crying right now? There was no way he could know.

He picked up the cup of cocoa on the desk that had by now become lukewarm. With something of an annoyed frown he glanced down, noticing the ripples that moved on the liquid's brown surface from his trembling hand. _Maybe this time it would just go away._ He forced his mind to drift inevitably back to that girl. There was always some kind of drama or another, although this time's seemed more serious. And now that _he _was seemingly out of the picture, Shirogane was _not_ going to allow the irrational side of his mind to bring up any hope that she…

He needed to focus on the Project. Yes, the Project – that was all that mattered. There were too many other issues to be concerned about right now – the aliens, the issue of the Blue Knight, the problems with the red data DNA. Every piece of data that stared back at him seemed to mock him, telling him he had failed. Where had everything gone wrong? He'd been so confident. The DNA should have been perfect. It should have. _Dad… I think I've failed._ The girl's injections would only be a temporary solution. He'd taken every responsibility for putting them in danger, and now they really were. Especially Ichigo.

_Ichigo._

Why did everything always lead back to Ichigo? Ichigo, who was probably still crying right now…

Shaking his head in a vain attempt to clear his thoughts, he set the cocoa mug back on the desk. He'd told her that he was going to bed, but that had been a lie. He still had work to do.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Um… excuse me!" The brunette girl waved desperately. She'd been trying for the last five minutes to flag down a waitress. Finally she succeeded, as the purple one turned and glared at her coolly.

"Yes?"

"Er… can I get an extra fork? I accidentally dropped this one on the floor."

"You already have a spoon," the waitress replied evenly, her blue eyes seeming to level a deadly challenge at anyone who would dare question the cleanliness of her floor.

"But… I wanted a fork. Oh…" the customer finally caved under the waitress's gaze. The girl laughed nervously. "T-that's okay. Never mind. Sorry to bother you…"

As the waitress walked away without another word, the customer breathed a silent sigh of relief. "Wow… such scary customer service."

"But don't you think she almost looks like Zakuro Fujiwara?" her friend whispered in low tones.

"The model? No way… why would Zakuro Fujiwara need a part-time job as a waitress?"

"True, true…"

Zakuro entered the kitchen with an inward sigh. Inside, she found a nervous Retasu pleading desperately.

"Purin-san… Purin-san, please come down!" The blonde monkey-girl was dancing on the countertops, apparently having invented a new, more "efficient" way to wash dishes. And Zakuro really didn't want to know what that method was. She glanced toward the dining room, where Akasaka was smiling as he chatted with a group of swooning highschoolers. "Isn't Ichigo supposed to come in today?" she queried.

"Who knows?" Minto shrugged. "She said she was, but maybe she dropped her strawberry-sized brain on the way here and forgot about it." The comment earned her an icy glare from Zakuro, and Minto immediately changed her tone, squirming under her 'oneesama's' scolding gaze. "Or… maybe she's just late. As always."

"I am not late!" a familiar voice called from the doorway. She jabbed a finger at the clock over the stove. "It is exactly… okay, it's exactly 8:04, but four minutes doesn't count because it took me longer than usual to change! So there!"

"Someone's back to their normal self…" Minto murmured softly.

"Ichigo-oneechaaaaan!"

"Purin-san, no don't…!"

Masha bounced into the chaos, beeping urgently. "Everyone, trouble! Ryou, trouble!"

"What? Ryou says there's trouble?" Minto asked.

Masha had already whizzed away toward the back rooms. "What is he talking about?" Retasu wondered, following the floating robot with the other girls not far behind. A high pitched shriek soon made all four break into a run. "Call Akasaka-san! Hurry!" the green-haired girl shrilled.

Ichigo tried to push past the other girls to see what was going on. Her heart was pounding strangely, though she really didn't understand why. Squeezing past Zakuro, she caught a glimpse of a hand lying on the floor of the storeroom. Then, attached to it, an arm, and a then blond head.

"Ryou!" Akasaka pushed past the girls immediately, kneeling at the other boy's side. His fingers went first to Ryou's pulse, and after finding one, moved to the unconscious blond's pants pocket, pulling out a small syringe. He unfastened his red collar and quickly injected the needle into Ryou's neck. Ichigo noticed for the first time, that he bore a mark just like the rest of them did, but it seemed unimportant at the moment.

"Is he going to be alright?" Retasu asked fearfully.

Akasaka's hand moved over the boy's forehead, and worry clouded his face. "He's burning up…" When he next spoke, his voice was level but urgent. "Retasu-san, I need you to find the medical kit that's in the basement under the first computer. Minto-san, Purin-san, please prepare some ice packs." The girls went off to obey without question.

"Akasaka…san?" Ichigo found herself unable to move, fear paralyzing her bones.

Akasaka gathered the other boy in his arms, and stood with only a little difficulty. Ichigo could do nothing but stare in shock as the older man carried him from the room.

It was several minutes later that Akasaka closed the door of Ryou's bedroom behind him as he exited. Five pairs of worried eyes gazed on him, waiting for a diagnosis. He sighed. "Ryou collapsed from a very high fever. I believe he's been overworking himself lately. That would be fine, but… I believe the attacks he has been having lately from the Red Data Animal DNA have affected his immune system, lessening his ability to fight the fever."

"But… he'll be alright?" Ichigo questioned softly.

"All we can do right now is wait, and hope that he is strong enough to fight it."

Ichigo closed her eyes and silently prayed. _Don't do this to me. No more tears, please._

_I don't want any more tears._

_-_

_I'm with you / Whatever you say, I'm with you / I hurt you and you hurt me / This is just how we are / Tried to stop this and let you go / But there's something about you / Want you to touch me and hold me back / Too scared to ask you / "Are you sure you're with the one you love?" / You will never know, never know 'til the pain…_

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Notes: BOOO to FFnet and their evil formatting. If you want to see the chat scene as it's supposed to be, smileys and all, go here: makenaiDOTorg/parfait/abi-inthislife5DOThtml


	6. therapy

**In This Life**  
A Tokyo Mew Mew fanfic  
by Abigail / pikari

**chapter six. therapy**

_(soundtrack. 06. rope dancer. bonnie pink)_

_I'm facing the air, climbing invisible stairs / I'm alone and shaking like a rope dancer / It's calm and warm, feels like before the storm / But I'm scared deep down like a rope dancer / If you say you can catch me when I fall from above / I'd try to make it with the mystery of love / This game is so hard to win / But I'll stay to the bitter end / Baby, I'll make it if you…_

_Give me the **strength.**_

**-**

Sunlight filtered down through the trees, the rays bouncing over the foliage on the ground and sparkling like it would on the pages of some fairy tale instead of reality. The woods seemed gently familiar, and at the same time new and strange, but for some reason, Ryou didn't mind. The invisible wind was comforting, although it never touched or ruffled his hair or clothes. Ahead of him was a river, framed picturesquely by the lazy branches of ancient trees. Somewhere in the fog of his mind, a realization came to him. This was America. He hadn't been here in over five years. He remembered this spot in the park, not far from their home.

His gaze fell from the sunlight in the trees, down to the figure that sat by the riverbank, on a white blanket spread neatly over the grass. She cocked her head, glancing over her shoulder as she smiled at him.

He opened his mouth to speak. "You…"

"Ryou, darling, don't just stand there, come sit with me."

His limbs remained frozen, unable to move. "I can't."

"Why not?"

"…Because you're dead."

"Why, silly, that's no reason."

His feet led him to the blanket as if they were not his own. He sat down, feeling half in a hazy fog, but strangely comforted. He lifted his eyes to gaze on his mother. Wheat-gold hair spilled over her back, her face as young and beautiful as he remembered it.

She pushed a small wicker basket toward him. "Don't you want a sandwich?" Looking out over the river, a small sigh escaped her lips. "But it's such a gorgeous day, don't you think?"

He glanced up at the sky, every cloud exquisite in its every detail, like it couldn't be anything but real. Despite the peaceful scene, he couldn't fight the stifling heaviness that pressed every muscle of his body. The touch of her fingers brought tingling coolness to his warm skin. "Why are you so depressed?"

The question seemed to touch not just this moment, but his entire life. The air swirled around him moodily, whispering the answer he didn't want to voice. "I failed…"

"Never. After all, you're my son." Her fingers snuck to his head, ruffling the blond locks out of place. He squirmed away from her, reaching up to smooth his hair again. He always hated when she did that.

"But you left." He looked away toward the hypnotizing sway of the grass, pouting as if he were ten years old again.

"Of course. You said so yourself, silly. I died."

"You didn't have to."

"Perhaps. But then you wouldn't be the person you are today." She plucked a small white daisy, dropping it into his open palm. The wind tugged at the grass with more force, tickling his skin, as the trees above them swirled, signaling a coming storm.

He stared straight through the flower in his hand. "What… if I don't like who that person is?"

She flicked his ear lightly. "Well, now, whose fault is that?"

His head snapped upwards, realizing in an instant she was longer by his side. She walked toward the banks of the river, putting a distance of yards between them that seemed like miles. "W-wait!" he tried to scramble to his feet. The storm creaked through the tree branches, whipping through his hair now with no restraint. She continued as if she couldn't hear, bare feet stepping lightly across the surface of the river.

He stumbled as he splashed into the river, the crystal water swirling in to swallow up his legs. She was still moving away, and he couldn't move fast enough to get near her again. He struggled against the water desperately. "I'll still get revenge for you!"

She stopped and turned her head, gentle eyes brimming with sadness. But they were no longer blue eyes, but a shimmering red-brown, framed by short red locks. _Ichigo!_ His mouth could no longer voice the word. He pushed against the water, trying in vain to reach her. Each movement sent a familiar searing pain up his spine, but he paid it no attention. The black ears of a wildcat flicked as the silent howling storm assaulted her, slowing shrinking her into a small black cat, and in a flash, pulling her into a thousand pieces. His scream shattered the trees as he reeled forward. The pure white daisy dropped from his hand onto the black surface of the water, spinning, spinning as it was carried away with the current, and suddenly he realized the water was like fire and he was hot, so hot…

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"104 degrees Fahrenheit…" Akasaka frowned as he looked down at the thermometer he had just brought up from the unconscious blond's ear. His brow furrowed into concern as the other boy's head tossed restlessly on the pillow. He picked up a damp cloth to wipe the thin sheen of sweat from the boy's face. Despite his attempt at composure, a heavy sigh had slipped past Akasaka's lips.

In the café below, business continued, though more somber than usual. Even Purin's antics seemed dampened by a dark cloud, as the girls quietly served customers. Any careful observer might notice that behind the smiling greetings weighed a heavy anticipation, one that waited for good news with every hope, but despite the optimism, braced themselves for the worst. Even after closing, when the last crumb had been swept up and the last dish polished and put away, they still lingered together quietly, until eventually each girl bid the others farewell and reluctantly headed for home.

The café was quiet and dark when Akasaka descended the stairs, enveloped by an eerie loneliness that was almost tangible. The girls were gone as he'd expected – he'd assured them there was no need for them to stay. Upstairs, Shirogane had shown no changes, and the feeling of helplessness was becoming frustrating. Faith was his only remaining weapon of defense, and Akasaka would have to rely on that. There was still no doubt in his mind that he would pull through.

A small sound coming from the dining room made him pause to listen. Inside the dim room he could make out shapes of tables and chairs, and as his eyes adjusted, another shape. He strode forward, crossing the room to stand at the seated figure's side.

"Ichigo-san?" Akasaka's voice reflected deep concern. "Why haven't you gone home? I'm sure your parents are expecting you…" His voice trailed off as hollow brown eyes turned up toward his.

"I couldn't leave…"

"Ichigo-san…" He knelt beside her chair, taking both her hands in his own in a comforting gesture.

"I just…" Why _was_ she here? She already lost Aoyama-kun, and now she was so scared at possibility of losing Shirogane as well, even if the idea of caring that much for him still baffled her. "I want him to be okay." _I don't want to be alone_. "I hope he's okay…"

Akasaka pulled her into a tight hug, as much for his own reassurance as her own. "We just have to believe that he will be." He pulled back with a slight grin and added, "Besides, I have a feeling Ryou's too stubborn to give up this easily."

Ichigo couldn't help the smile that crept across her face. Akasaka was right, as always. _Stubborn_… yes, that was the perfect word for him. The other man stood again, leaving a hand to rest on her shoulder. "You should be going home now. I only came downstairs to make some tea, and I'll be going back to Ryou's room."

Ichigo popped out of her chair. "I'll get the tea, go back upstairs."

"That's not necessa-"

"Don't worry about it! I'll make you all the tea you want!" Before he could even finish she had skipped past him into the kitchen and was banging dishes about with her normal high-energy. With a silent chuckle Akasaka decided he wouldn't mind trusting Ichigo's tea-making abilities tonight. He returned upstairs, the occasional noise floating up from the kitchen a comforting reminder that he wasn't alone. He reached out to touch Shirogane's forehead, and it was just as warm as it had been earlier. The younger boy jerked restlessly away from the heat of his hand in feverish sleep. Sweat-soaked blond locks clung to his skin, and occasionally he would toss or groan as if plagued by some nightmarish dream. As his restlessness gradually increased, Akasaka realized it wasn't only dreams causing this reaction. Shirogane's face contorted and soon he was doubled over in pain.

A crash of glass shattered the silence of the room and Akasaka's eyes snapped to the doorway. Ichigo stood there, the tea a broken mess at her feet. Her eyes had become wide with horror. "Do something!" She ran to Akasaka's side, tugging at his shirt desperately. "Do something, he's hurting! Give him one of those shot thingies!"

The look the tall man gave her was pained and helpless as he opened his mouth to explain. "Ichigo… the antidote is what has been lowering his immune system. Without that immunity, he can't fight the fever. If I give him an injection now, he may die for sure." He didn't like seeing the boy in pain any more than she did, but he recognized when there was nothing more he could do except hope the attack passed quickly. He squeezed her shoulder gently. "He'll be okay."

She tore away from Akasaka's side and knelt at the bedside, grabbing Shirogane's sweaty hand on impulse, even though she knew it would do little good. Seeing him like this, she realized she'd already broken her promise never to feel pity for him again. Every muscle in his body had become taut, his breath coming in quicker gasps. The fingers inside her hand trembled and jerked, finally clamping tight around her own fingers. She bit her lip hard, not caring about the pain. Then slowly, he seemed to relax. His unconscious grip loosened and gradually his breath began returning to its normal, steady rhythm.

Ichigo pulled her hand back after becoming suddenly aware of the close contact, and hoped Akasaka didn't notice her pink cheeks in the dimness of the room. She lifted her head to speak, but stopped, seeing Akasaka's expression had changed to one of surprise and deep thoughtfulness.

"Ichigo-san… please hold his hand."

"Wha… what?" She backed away from the bed, feeling her blush grow hotter and fiercer.

He picked up her hand and returned it to its position on top of Shirogane's, sandwiching it with his own hand so she couldn't retract it this time. "I never considered it might be possible, but…"

"But what?" Ichigo echoed, thoroughly confused. She was acutely aware of the heat from the unconscious boy's hand pressing into hers. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully now, the attack having come and gone with only relatively mild symptoms.

Akasaka's brow furrowed again as if he were thinking something over. Finally he explained. "Your DNA is the Iriomote Wildcat, right? Well, Ryou's is the same. His genes are not compatible with the Red Data Animals as yours are, so the fusion is incomplete. He only has limited control and the wildcat DNA cannot differentiate between friend and enemy, which is why he has the attacks. But based on previous times, the attack just now should have been much stronger."

"I don't understand."

"He calmed down when you came near. I believe your wildcat genes may have the ability to communicate with Ryou's, and were able to calm the genes' effect on his body. You can speak to cats, correct? Well, it's probably something similar to that, except that your genes are communicating directly, instead of through words."

Ichigo squirmed slightly. Having such a direct personal link with Shirogane was a little disturbing. She wasn't quite convinced it was true. "But… but, Akasaka-san… I can't even control my own powers. I still turn into a cat whenever I get scared or nervous, and I can't turn back unless…"

She trailed off and Akasaka placed a finger on her uniform above her heart. "You control it _here_, if not always _here_." He tapped at her head with a smile. "You wanted Ryou's pain to stop, and it did."

"I guess…so." She still wasn't sure she wanted to believe, but Shirogane's attack _had_ stopped, and that was the important part. Akasaka moved to the doorway, bending to pick up the pieces of the broken tea set. Ichigo sank into the chair beside the bed, twisting her fingers together in thought. Her eyes glanced toward the bed again and she gasped in shock to see blue orbs staring back at her. _How long had he been awake?_

Ichigo jumped from her chair and whirled toward the door. "Akasaka-san!" she called urgently. In two strides the older man was at her side. When her gaze returned to the figure in the bed she found his eyes once again closed in quiet sleep as if nothing had occurred. "His… his eyes were open," she explained. "Just for a few seconds…"

When Akasaka checked the blond's temperature again, he felt a small wave of relief wash over him at the results. _102 degrees…_ "His fever has gone down."

"Really!" Ichigo balanced on her tiptoes, trying to get a look at the digital temperature readout. She threw her arms up in the air in a short cheer. "Yeah! That's great!" At Akasaka's knowing smile she suddenly began waving in a negative gesture. "B-but it's not like that!" she declared firmly. "Just because I'm not with Aoyama-kun doesn't mean it's like _that_! I just think he should get better, because… because we need him for the Mew Project and all that stuff."

The ponytailed man had to restrain himself from bursting out laughing, but kept a calm face. "Of course." His next smile was sincere. "Thank you, Ichigo. You've helped more than you can imagine. Please go home now, and rest."

"But, will he…?"

"He will be fine, thanks to you. If you want to gather your things, I can drive you home, since it's dark outside now."

"Yeah… thanks."

It wasn't until Ichigo's head finally hit her pillow that she realized how much the day had exhausted her. Sleep came for her immediately, but she remembered thinking just as she drifted off, how strange it was that even after all that had happened with Aoyama-kun and then with Shirogane today, that she should feel so peaceful tonight. There wasn't time to think of anything else, as the warmth of the covers soon claimed her into deep, dreamless sleep.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

She met Retasu and Purin bright and early at the café gates the next morning. Apparently they'd had the same idea she did. Retasu explained with a blush that'd she'd been worried and wanted to check in on Shirogane and Akasaka before school. They found Minto and Zakuro already inside.

"Is Shirogane-oniichan better yet!" Purin bounced forward, asking the two girls eagerly.

"We only just arrived here," Minto replied with a shrug. "Akasaka-san isn't around anywhere, so Oneesama and I were just about to check upstairs."

"Perhaps Akasaka-san is still asleep?" Retasu wondered.

"I kinda doubt it, Retasu," Ichigo answered.

The five girls crept up the stairs together, peering as one into Ryou's dark room. On the chair beside the bed, the figure of the tall dark-haired man sat motionless. His head slumped forward onto his chest, sound asleep.

"So he was asleep, no da!"

"He probably stayed up all night," Minto pointed out.

Akasaka's head jerked upward, awakened by the voices in the room. After a quick glance toward the bed, he rubbed his eyes sleepily. "Girls…"

"Akasaka-oniichan stayed up all night, no da," Purin echoed, jumping onto the back rung of the chair.

"I must have fallen asleep," the older man mused, wincing as he rubbed his neck, stiff and sore from sleeping in such an awkward position. "What time is it?"

"It's quarter after seven. You should really take better care of yourself, or you'll get sick, too," Retasu scolded gently. He stood stiffly, the shift in weight causing Purin to tumble backwards with the chair. However, no one paid her much attention.

Minto stepped forward and crossed her arms with all the authority she could command from her small figure. "Retasu is exactly right. You've been exhausting yourself and worrying too much. You're going to bed right now."

"Thank you, but there's the café, and…"

"No 'but's!" Minto waved a finger at the dark-haired man's protest. "We'll do all the baking and get everything ready for the café to open this afternoon, and you won't have to worry about one thing."

"It's not healthy to push yourself too hard," Zakuro stated, and Minto beamed that her "Oneesama" was agreeing with her. "Meanwhile I can monitor any alien activity from the basement computers."

"Yep," Ichigo winked. "We wanted an excuse to play hooky from school, anyway."

"Girls… I appreciate it," Akasaka gave a smile of defeat, but one of relief as well. "Although, I would like to make a bit of breakfast. Then I shall go to bed… I promise."

"But we get to do all the work!" Purin declared, skipping off to help the rest of the girls herd Akasaka down the stairs.

Ichigo lingered behind them for a moment, glancing over toward the sleeping figure in the bed. She crept forward on tiptoes, deciding to check quickly on his condition before joining the rest of the girls. He lay on his side facing the wall, his breathing steady and normal. After a few seconds hesitation, she touched his forehead softly. _He didn't seem too warm…_ She reached across him, leaning precariously over the bed as she attempted to tug up a part of the sheet that had bunched up under him.

A hand clamped around her wrist, jerking her forward before she had time to think, and she landed sprawled on top of the body in the bed. With a feline screech Ichigo jumped up as if she'd landed on live coals, quickly scrambling away towards the edge of the bed as Shirogane propped himself up on his elbows.

"D-d-don't scare people like that!" she yelled with an accusing finger. Recovering from the shock, she stared at him in surprise. "When did you wake up?"

"This morning," he replied simply. "I didn't want to disturb Keiichiro."

"You made us all worry!"

He shrugged a little. "Nice to know I have such a caring nurse." She saw the playful teasing dance in his eyes, and felt her face begin to burn.

"I… I was just trying to help out Akasaka-san. You know he was really concerned for you." She glared as if the whole thing had been his fault, and watched the blond turn away sullenly.

"Anyway, you can all stop fussing and go home now. I'm perfectly fine." At Ichigo's glare of doubt, he lifted his chin and continued. "Unless you'd like to sit by my bed some more and use those cat-powers of yours to make sure."

He flinched when a flying pillow struck him square in the face. "So you _were _awake last night!"

He calmly shoved the pillow aside onto the floor and pushed himself into a full sitting position. "I wouldn't say awake. But somewhat conscious, maybe. The memory is rather fuzzy, but now that I've had time to think about it, the theory does make sense."

"Because Alto is an Iriomote Wildcat?"

"Exactly. We really haven't even begun to tap the extent of the Red Data Animals' potential, so we can only theorize what they're really capable of. Although…" A troubled look now clouded his face. "I wish you hadn't used it."

"But it helped you. Didn't it…?"

When he leaned toward her, the expression was gone, and his voice had turned to 'scientific mode' again. "I'm interested in testing this new ability. Perhaps it works both ways."

"What are you talking about?" Ichigo spoke warily. Whenever Shirogane starting talking about 'tests', she knew to be afraid.

He gave a weary sigh and pointed. "I'm talking about _those_."

Ichigo's hands flew to her head and sure enough, a pair of fuzzy appendages met her fingers. And despite all her will, they wouldn't go away this time. Damn it, why did that Shirogane always have to make her so unnerved? This was why she hated him so much.

She gasped as he jerked her chin upward until their faces were barely inches apart. She couldn't stand to look in his eyes for more than a few seconds, and squeezed them quickly shut. "Stop…" she whimpered softly. Ichigo felt her heart rate increasing as she waited for his lips to touch hers, or the 'sample' to be plucked from her tail, or whatever other surprise he might have waiting. She never knew what to expect from him, and that made her all the more nervous. But he only held her captive like that, until she could feel the heat that generated between them – perhaps a remnant from his fever, or a product of her own embarrassed body. Whatever it was, she found the moment overwhelming her, each breath becoming harder to take, hyperventilating. Simply his presence was overwhelming, something that she could never figure out. She felt his breath hover near her ear as he hissed, "_Control it_." She was beyond control by now, and she knew it, although she clenched her fists and tried to fight it as she felt the all-too-familiar tingling begin in her stomach and begin to grow…

Seconds later a small black kitten sat on Shirogane's bed, looking up pathetically as tears of failure gathered in her pink cat-eyes. He sighed heavily, wearing an expression of softness she'd never seen in him before. He rubbed her head a few times affectionately. "It's not your fault."

He leaned back flat on the bed again, seeming to stare absently at the wall. "I guess it's just not possible after all." His words were soft, subdued. A pause, and then, "I'm sorry."

She extended a paw hesitantly and stepped up to sit in the middle of his torso. The position afforded her a better view of his face and this strange new personality. He spoke sincerely, as if she wasn't even there; or maybe it was just easier to pour out your soul to an animal, the way they could listen in total honesty without judgment or interruption, even if he already knew who she really was.

"I said I would take responsibility for everything." Shirogane's voice had taken on a reflective, uncharacteristic tone. "But I ended up putting the weight of everything on you. I thought I could complete my father's project on my own. But I haven't done anything. I can't even fight. All I've done is put you in more danger. And all for…" He shook his head slightly, as if trying to shake the thought away. The morning sunlight filtered through the trees and past the window, casting mesmerizing moving patterns on the floor. After a few seconds of silence he spoke again. "We wanted to save the Earth. But, you know… it was never really about that. I don't think I ever really cared about the trees… or the oceans, or the animals. I just wanted to complete the Project, and somehow get revenge on the ones who murdered my parents. I pulled you all into that… selfishly. Not even asking if you wanted the choice." Another pause. "The genes… I don't know if I can stop them. If they can't be controlled… they'll keep on progressing until you turn into a cat completely. And there may not be enough time to defeat the aliens first. So… if you want to quit… if you stop fighting now, it won't progress any further, and you can remain the way you are. If you keep fighting, it's a risk. I didn't give you the choice before, but if you want to quit now… I'll allow you to do that."

When he had finished, a heavy silence punctuated the room, broken only by the quiet hum of the computer in the corner. All the time he was speaking, Shirogane had never torn his eyes away from the blank wall across the room. Now Ichigo sat quietly, riding the gentle rise and fall of his chest. She wasn't sure what to think, or to believe if she had really heard him right. Was this the Shirogane who ordered her around constantly, had basically forced her into a waitress job, and told her she was going to be his superhero whether she liked it or not? Now he was telling her she had the option to quit? Of course, she'd threatened to quit before, and thought about it more times than she could count. But yet she always kept coming back to the café, almost as if it wasn't even a choice anymore.

She put one paw in front of her and stepped forward. Feeling the shift in weight, he turned his head to look at her. She watched his eyes widen just before she closed her own and touched her kitten lips to his. She could feel the odd tingling surround her body as her limbs began to extend. In a flash of pink light and a few seconds later, she sat on top of him, fully human.

"I want to fight with you… as Mew Ichigo."

The tips of her hair dangled over him, framing her face as he stared up at her with childlike uncertainty, all emotional barriers crumbled. "Ichigo…?" He spoke the only word he could manage to get out.

A bang of the door shattered the moment, and both teenagers' eyes snapped toward the door. There stood Purin, wearing a triumphant look like the winner of a hide-and-seek game. "Minto-oneechan, I found her, no da!" The blonde child disappeared again, pounding down the stairs as she announced at the top of her lungs to the entire café, "She's in bed with Shirogane-oniichan, no daa—!"

Shirogane's face tinged pink, but Ichigo was sure his was nothing compared to her cherry-red cheeks as she suddenly realized her compromising position, straddling his body on the bed. She practically dove nose-first into the floor as she tried to scramble off the bed as fast as she possibly could. She dashed into the hallway and down the stairs, chasing the young monkey girl, as she screeched back, "PURIIIN! Don't say it _like that_—!" The girl managed to dodge her grasp and scuttled up a lighting fixture out of reach. Before the redhead catgirl had a chance to vent her wrath and embarrassment, she was confronted by an angry Minto surrounded by the rest of the girls.

"Ichigo!" Minto scolded. "We said we were going to help Akasaka-san, and then you suddenly disappear! I'm not letting you play hooky from this, too!"

"I am not trying to disappear!" Ichigo huffed. "I'm going to help as much as I can, probably more than you will. But that's not the point. Shirogane is – "

"Shirogane-oniichan is awake, no da!" Purin finished before the other girl could get the words out.

Suddenly she had everybody's full attention. "He's awake!" Retasu echoed.

"Bright and early," a familiar voice sounded behind them. "No use wasting the whole morning sleeping."

The group turned to find the object of their discussion leaning in the kitchen doorway, looking fully well and recovered. Amid all the cries of surprise and relief from the girls, no one noticed the knowing looks that passed briefly between the two men – one a smile of relief and the other a silent thanks. Shirogane brushed aside all the girl's sudden questions and concerns and turned toward the basement door. "I want to have a meeting downstairs in five minutes, so be ready," he said, and without a further word disappeared again, leaving them to wonder among themselves.

Exactly five minutes later all five girls had gathered in the basement. Shirogane leaned against the computers, his face revealing no expression or clue as to what this was about. Akasaka stood nearby. When all the girls had approached, he began.

"I think you have all been aware from the beginning of the risks that this project involved. And I think recent events have proven it further. The Red Data Animal genes are progressing even despite the supplemental injections you all received. Up until now, Ichigo has been affected the most, but the rest of you may have already noticed some effects as well." Silent knowing glances were exchanged among the girls at the mention of this. "If they continue to do so before the aliens are defeated, you might remain animals permanently."

"Purin wants to be a monkey, no da."

"Ssh, Purin-san, I don't think that's quite what he means," Retasu soothed.

Shirogane ignored them and continued. "Because of these risks, I'm giving each person here the option to leave the team. You won't be looked down on for doing so. If you quit now, the animal genes will not progress any further, and another way will be found to defeat the aliens if needed. Anyone who wishes to leave is free to do so."

Surprised murmurs arose from the group of girls as they whispered among themselves. Only Ichigo remained strangely quiet. Finally it was Zakuro who spoke first. "You say you can find another way to defeat the aliens. What way is this?"

"…We will find another way," was all he said, and as he did, every person in the room knew there was no other way. Shirogane only stared at the floor waiting for their responses.

Retasu was the one to break the heavy silence after a long minute. "I… I know I'm not the strongest or most important member of the team, but… if there's a way I can help to save this beautiful Earth, I want to do it. And… even if there is a risk to it, I trust Shirogane-san and Akasaka-san to lead us. I believe it is worth it to endanger myself just a little, if it means I can protect many other people from danger."

_If we don't risk our lives, we cannot save humanity_. Hadn't those been his own words? Retasu… when had she gained so much confidence? She nearly put him to shame now. But he remained silent and waited for the rest of the girls. Their answers were not long in coming.

"Ditto, no da! Purin wants to fight, too."

"I agree as well," Minto said. "If we can defeat the aliens, we should do it."

"The more strength you have, the faster you will be able to defeat them," Zakuro stated. "I will stay with the team."

"You already have my answer," Ichigo said. "I want to fight."

Shirogane's eyes were closed in silence. "Looks like you have a vote of confidence, Ryou," Akasaka spoke softly.

When he lifted his chin a minute later, a change had taken place, and his eyes flashed with the old confidence and determination reborn, his posture set authoritatively. Ichigo felt a smile creeping across her face at seeing him back to normal. That was the Shirogane they all knew and (well, sometimes) loved. She almost imagined he wore the hints of a smile, too. When he spoke again, it was with the clipped, business tone they'd all become familiar with.

"In that case – there was a Chimera Anima reaction in Juuban less than two minutes ago. I want all five of you to go intercept it. Take Masha, and radio back if you run into any problems." He raised his arm, and this time Ichigo was sure she saw a confident grin flash in his eyes.

"Tokyo Mew Mew… Away!"

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**The End…… of Part One!** Only five (or so) chapters left to go after this.

Thank you to everyone who left reviews or gave feedback – I appreciate each one. kiss

_Calling All Angels_ by Train was originally supposed to be the song for this chapter, since I thought it fits into the last scene. (If you think of the Mew Mews as the angels… well, I thought it fit XD), but I changed it to Bonnie Pink (again). I really like the song, though, especially the metaphor of "rope dancing". I'm almost tempted to change the title of this fic to that…. o,O


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